I am so sorry to hear about your mother's bladder cancer. You are, of course, welcome here. Think you mother is lucky to have you!
First of all, everything she has told you points to low-grade, non-invasive cancer, most likely papillary (ie, the "mushroom-like" stalk) transitional cell carcinoma. It is good news that it has not gone into the muscle and her doctors seem to be right on it, and doing the right things. Not sure exactly what the "liquid" treatment might have been.....in the US it would have been BCG and she would have had at least six treatments. And yes, low grade bladder cancer has a bad habit of coming back. You mentioned that your mother has already had a recurrence. BUT her doctors seem to be keeping a really good watch on her which is what should be done.
It is important to remember that bladder cancer, when found early as it appears that your mother's was, is very treatable. I was diagnosed over 7 years ago, have had no recurrences, and am doing great. There are others here with even longer histories. You will also see stories on the Forum with not-so-good outcomes, but these people do not have the same type of bladder cancer as your mom.
Now for the hard part. You need to sit down with your mother and explain how much you want to be by her side for this journey, and how much worry it causes you when you feel she is trying to spare you worry. This is very common in families...they do not want to worry their loved ones, an the result is even more worry and anxiety. She needs to know that you love her and are there for her support. Maybe on her next visit to the urologist she might let you go and speak with him. I think he would tell you basically what I have....and assure you that your mother has an excellent prognosis.
Please feel free to ask us any questions you may have....we are here to support you. As I said above, your mom is very fortunate to have such a caring son.
Sara Anne
