Dear Gman,
I understand how you feel because I certainly have been there. There were days when I totally forgot I ever had cancer, but many more when my fears kept surfacing. I hope you have good people around you for support. I'm starting BCG next week, and my long-time coworkers know it. That's a good and bad thing. Some come up to me frequently and ask if I've started my treatments yet, how are my treatments going, how am I doing with my treatments, etc, and I haven't even started yet! I know they mean well, but to be reminded of it several times a day is not a good thing. I'm being treated like a cancer victim, not a person. I'm going to have to tell them that they can open a conversation with me by saying a sentence without "treatment" in it.
My point is, it's good to talk to people who are helpful and supportive; they will help you get through it. You may have to coach some people in how to be supportive, and avoid those who can't or won't be. When I am feeling fear or sadness about my cancer, I talk to someone who understands, or write a message here, and it helps me.
I hope the next 3 months goes by faster for you than you think it will right now, and that you have nothing but good news at that time.
Connie
