SWARMY2007,
Welcome to the Five Year Treatment Club. Seems to be the point that constant treatment of recurring cancer starts to takes a bite out of optimism.
You have been fighting the good fight, and you have been given a break from treating, but it does not feel like a win. We want to be pleased, but there is doubt in our minds.
What would it take for you to be celebrating a victory ? What could be done to erase the concern about the (frequently inaccurate) cytology ? What would let you call the round a "win" ?
For me, it is a MRI or full system CT Scan. I want something beyond the limited ability of human vision to set a diagnosis these days.
If you you know - or can express - what would give you the positive, supporting, info you are obviously seeking, talk to your doctor or care team. Their job it to treat your body and your spirit. Ask them to go the extra mile.
Hang in there. We are survivors, and we are not done fighting.
Best,
Jack