Hi, Ange. I will just provide some anecdotal evidence about the various options you are facing
The ileal conduit is the simplest surgery and takes the least time . As you know urine iis collected in a bag outside the body which is usually located on the lower abdomen . Sometimes people have difficulty before they find the exact bag that fits their needs but many supply companies will give you free samples of multiple types . It is possible to wear clothes so that no one knows that you have such a device
Another option is called the Indiana pouch In this case a small portion of your intestine is used to make a bag that holds urine. This is inside your body and it is connected to a valve either in or near your bellybutton. About every four hours or so you drain the pouch by placing a catheter through the valve. In this case there is nothing on the outside of your body .
The third option, the neobladders, uses an internal pouch also constructed from intestine which is hooked up to the original “plumbing “ and, under ideal circumstances you urinate the normal way. This is the most complicated and longist surgery. It works better in males than females because of differences in our anatomy . While some women have had successfully had neobladders, many are either incontinent or hypercontinent.
As Alan mentioned the expertise of the surgeon can make all the difference so you need to be sure that your doctor performs many of the type of surgery that you want . Many times a urologist may be only familiar with one procedure so that is the one that he or she recommends . Also as Alan has mentioned people tend to get used to whatever diversion they choose and are quite happy no matter which one they have.
Sara Anne