Julie,
Thanks for your reply. Perhaps I didn't make myself really clear in my post, though. I don't dwell on my illnesses. I have 12 different medical conditions, some limiting, that require my constant action, vigilance, decision-making, appointments/procedures, and routines, and there is not a way to get around that unless I ignore them and let them get worse, which I really don't want to do. Actually, I have let some of it go unattended because I can't keep up.
I think about bladder cancer as much as I have to in order to make intelligent decisions about my treatment. With the conflicting opinions and advice I've had, that meant a lot of research so that I could ask questions that needed to be asked. Also, it's not always in my control to leave the topic behind for awhile. I may be busy at my job when a coworker comes up and starts grilling me about my treatments. At Christmas time I asked my visiting relatives about their jobs and their hobbies, but all they asked me about was my cancer. I have explained to people that I don't want to talk about it all the time, that I am capable of talking about other things, but it doesn't seem to sink in. I know they are just showing their concern, or their curiosity, but it does bring it to the forefront in my mind each time.
There is no "we" in my situation, as there is in yours, there is only "me." No one is there to help me make a list, remember things, or give me the hug I need at the moment I need it to keep going.
I can do deep breathing when I feel really stressed, but most of the time I don't feel stressed and it doesn't help how I do feel. Like I said, it's a weariness. I'm not at all a sedentary person by nature, but an active and social one. The activities I enjoy and am passionate about (traveling, tennis, hiking, dancing, bike riding, some volunteer work I used to do) are now beyond my physical capabilities and/or financial capabilities. Friends have left me in the dust as they continue to pursue these things. Nowadays I play with my cat and read library books in what spare time I have. It doesn't exactly revive me. I also correspond on this site, but am only a junior member so am obviously not making this my focus.
Venting helps, so every once in a while I indulge myself.