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Burnt out and shutting down

12 years 8 months ago #13126 by Sol
Hi Connie:
This is Sol's wife posting. I came across a news article today that might be of some help to you. It's an organization that helps people who are ill stay on their feet financially. If you dont have the stress of battling insurance companies and other financial difficluty, you may have some strength left to focus on improving your day to day. Here's the link and good luck. It seems like its worth a try.
Good Luck


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12 years 8 months ago #13121 by fearandfight
Connie I am a lucky man I been married for 30 yrs to a sweetheart of a girl and she is also an LPN. But there are couples that go through cancer together and one of them can't handle it like thru sickness and health they forgot that part now. I guess if your single this can be very hard to handle by yourself I take it for granite being married so long. But as I said I have read stories how cancer has interfered with their so called marriage and to me that is sad. Also I agree with you on other health issue cause I have had my share and BC just seemed to be the icing on the cake and it sucks bigtime. Try to hang tough Connie you seem like a very sweet lady. Joe ;)

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12 years 8 months ago #13069 by ConnieOnAQuest

I don't have friends who want to do free things with me like take walks or sit around my apartment talking and have a simple meal there. I have extended those invitations, but have been turned down. Friends/acquaintances are too busy doing the things I used to do with them - dancing, going out, enjoying numerous activities that cost money or require health and energy. I don't blame them for not wanting to spend what would be boring time with me; after all, they can do what they enjoy, and they should.


My greatest fear is not dying; it holds no fear for me. It's the constant diminishing of my life that gets to me. That can happen when one is struggling all the time and without support of anyone close. I put my profile on a dating site. When I listed the things I enjoy (dancing, traveling, hiking) -- things that I can't do anymore -- I got a lot of responses. When I revised the profile to indicate that I was unable to actually pursue most of the things I enjoy, and that I was dealing with some health issues, the responses dropped to near zero (unless you count the guy who told me he had alien friends who took him into outer space and a couple others who seems to be out of touch with reality!)

For me, it's not the cancer itself, or my other health problems themselves, it's the affect they have on my life. I know some people probably can give up their passions and dreams and lifestyle and lose relationships because of illness and STILL be happy and unstressed and not let it get to them. But I haven't been able to do that.

I guess, on the plus side, I have so many other health issues besides cancer that the cancer can't crowd it's way in to become a focus for me. :)

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12 years 8 months ago #13061 by fearandfight
Well I can say this no matter even if I try not to think about BC and I am cancer free as of now it still runs through my mind everyday I just can't help it comes and goes. I think the worst part of being told you have cancer is it the first time most of us realize that death can knock on our door and it is scary. We all know we are are born and all of us will die someday but none of us want to think about it I know I certaintly don't. So after I found out I went to battle and fought and as of last Aug. 07 I was told I am cancer free as of now. So I live one day at a time and make the most of it and keep telling myself I ain't going anywhere for awhile I got alot more living to do. Cheers, Joe ;)

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12 years 9 months ago #12655 by Gene Beane

I can imagine that your are just sick and tired of all the negative crap in your life.. I wasn't aware that you have 12 different issues medically. The financial part can hurt as how you can't do anything without the CASH... I think Julie has a point, find something you love that costs 0.$$$.. when I get like you I go to the nearest patio and garden center, just the site and the smell takes me back to real life, living things. Do you have any friends who care enough to share this with you!! Tag along to Doctors appt.s.?? mAYBE ITS TIME TO SHUT DOWN FOR A COUPLE WEEKS AND TAKE A LOOK AT IT ALL LATER, FROM A FRESH POINT OF VIEW. We recently went to ApPleby's for dinner with my son his wife and 2 grandsons age 2 and 5..my husband has a habit of pulling his belt away from his body so the release of urine will flow into his bag. My grandson said, " PA PA , do you have a tummy ache??? The 2 year old always puts his little hand on his own side and says, papa ,, boo boo....and he looks to see under his shirt he he has one to. On the way home my husband reflected that this life change is for good, and he is still having emotional problems with acceptance. I said to him, well, I don't have a bag but we both have our life and those wonderful children. I can help him get over it an suggest things, and for you I suggest this is temporary, you will feel better one day, try something that lifts your spirits, flowers do it for me...Ginger Beane

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12 years 9 months ago #12612 by mznoregrets
Hi Julie,

Maybe one thing that would help you is caringbridge.com It is a website for folks who are ill. Creating a page is quite easy, you decide how much info you want to share, and others view it and can leave messages. Melodie used it and was very happy with it and I am working on mine. I decided to do it to keep friends/family updated without having to say it 10 times a day. Should leave more time to "tak" about the other stuff of life :) Just a thought.
Please know you guys are on my prayer list as is everyone here, God Bless, Holly

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