I'm very sorry about this new development, and so sorry you have been dealt another unexpected setback by this horrible disease. Perhaps the chemo that was already planned can also address the lymph node prior to surgery. That lymph node was removed along with a few others during my partial cystectomy.
You can always vent here. You are among people who can relate to the fear and frustration that comes along with the diagnosis. Please let us know how your husband is doing, and how you are doing, as you go to the next steps of treatment.
Best wishes... Catherine
TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center
Nashville, TN