best friend diagnosed with bladder cancer stage 4

9 years 1 month ago #46787 by Cynthia
Mary, First off wow what a good friend you are. And of course we are here for you post when you feel like venting.

You are between a rock and a hard place with this one. Your friend has every right to contact and talk to anyone he likes. But on the other hand he may not be thinking of the fact he may leave his son feeling for the rest of his life that he was robbed of the chance to say things that can never be said. If your friend does not wish to talk to his son you could encourage him to write him a letter letting him know what he wishes him to know. He has to know that his silence may leave his son feeling that he did not care about him and closed him out in a final way that could be damaging for the rest of his sons life. His son is only 17 and that is an age that great damage can be done physiologically as he is not fully matured enough to understand that people may well love us deeply but not act like it. Your friend has to understand his silence could do very deep damage.

I am so sorry that you and your friend are going though this. Please know we are here for you and keep us updated.

Cynthia Kinsella
T2 g3 CIS 8/04
Clinical Trial
Chemotherapy & Radiation 10/04-12/04
Chemotherapy 3/05-5/05
BCG 9/05-1-06
RC w/umbilical Indiana pouch 5/06
Left Nephrectomy 1/09
President American Bladder Cancer Society

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9 years 1 month ago #46785 by marym
my best friend diagnosed with stage 4 bladder cancer, 2 mos ago. He is receiving chemo and had one round of radiation to try to shrink anothet tumor found on spine. very agressive. I am feeling helpless as i watch him slowly slip away. He has no support of any family so i am pretty much the only one he has, I am seeing his behavior change and his anger that he takes out on me, which i know is common and thats ok, i understand. I just don't know what to say anymore, there are things he needs to take care of and i find myself unable to bring things up. He has a 17 yr old son which i don't think knows about how bad he is as he lives with his mom and my friend and her do not get along and she wants nothing to do with him..which leads me to a i have the right to talk with her just so maybe the son would want to call his dad, they have not been real close due to his ex girlfriend and him not getting along... i don't want to upset my friend but know he talkes about his son and things he wants him to have, so any comments would be appreciated and thank you for reading, i know i will post again as i need some support with all this.

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