Preparing for the end....

9 years 8 months ago #45738 by sara.anne
Replied by sara.anne on topic Preparing for the end....
I am so sorry. There is really nothing anyone can say to make it go away.

One piece of advice. HOSPICE, HOSPICE, HOSPICE. They have so much to offer in the way of support at all levels. Many families wait much too long to ask for their help.

My father was a home/hospice patient for almost six months before his death. Mom had support any time she needed it, and sometimes when she didn't KNOW she needed it. A male nurse came several times a week to bathe and shave Daddy. A respite worker came to sit with him while Mom got out of the house...did grocery shopping, got her hair cut, just got AWAY for a bit. They provided a hospital bed, wheelchair, commode....anything Daddy needed. Plus the support of social workers. It made his last few months a joy for him and for mother.

I urge you to help your family get this help now.

Sara Anne

Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator
The following user(s) said Thank You: dhva

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9 years 8 months ago #45737 by dhva
Preparing for the end.... was created by dhva
I wrote on the forum for the first time last week with some details on my 70-yr old father's battle with BC. We found out last week his metastatic BC has spread to his colon and rectum area where it caused a blockage and required a colostomy about 8 weeks ago. He got a call today after they reviewed last week's biopsies and all indications are that we are nearing the end of this tumultous journey. He is going to see his BC surgeon tomorrow for a consultation on what is likely the dreadful discussion on what / if anything they recommend at this point. But it sounds like it will just be to tell him how much time he has left and what they suggest to make him comfortable. They have mentioned nothing about further surgery, radation or chemo.

I will be going to FL to spend time with him and my mom next week as it sounds he is ready to begin making preparations for what are likely his final months to live. They are both still a bit in shock, so I am somehow going to have to dig deep and find some strength to help them get these things in order to make it easier when that time comes and also and give him some comfort that my brothers and I will take care of my mom when he is gone. My hope at this point is that he gets some relief from the pain and can see all his kids and grandkids over the next few weeks and have one last happy moment with family!! He has been a wonderful father, and he deserves that..

God bless all of you who are similarly dealing with this horrble disease.

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