It never ends...

14 years 7 months ago #27183 by Patricia
Replied by Patricia on topic It never ends...
kiely......look into this
www.medscape.com/viewarticle/557893_2
Pat

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14 years 7 months ago #27182 by ang0623
Replied by ang0623 on topic It never ends...
It's been a while, how's your family? My mother in law was told today that the cancer is gone from her torso but spread to her brain. We're in shock. I have to find people who have beaten this and help her beat the odds. This is so unfair, so horrible. I hope things are better on your end.

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14 years 8 months ago #26505 by Julie
Replied by Julie on topic It never ends...
Mel, I second Stephany find out if the surgery would extend his life and enhance the quality. I know the drive to live is strong and some will endure a lot to keep going. I expect your Mother wants to do whatever your Father wants.

You and your Mother need to ask how you will be able to take care of your father if he continues to bleed. How would you assess his health overall. Is he still walking and eating or is he staying in bed most of the time. How is his pain level and how is that being treated. Does the urologist think he would survive major surgery? Lots of questions you need answers your family needs answers to.
I appreciate more and more how Dick's oncologist gently told us that we might want to look into hospice and i asked if meant that Dick had less than six months to live. His assessment was based on how much the cancer had grown and affected Dick's physical health.

If the oncologist and the urologist think he could physically stand up to the surgery it might provide the best relief. I would think the major goal at this point is comfort what ever that means for an individual.
I'm sorry this had turned into such a dilemma as to what to do. Bladder Cancer doesn't give us easy choices. Hugs, Julie

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14 years 8 months ago #26491 by Mel09
Replied by Mel09 on topic It never ends...
I briefly mentioned hospice to my mother and she quickly dismissed it. My father still wants to fight and it just is looking so bad right now. The urologist basically told him there is nothing more he can do for him. The cancer is just continuing to bleed and it needs to come out somehow, so he is peeing it out, hence the loss of blood and the transfusions. The dr. said he could possibly come home tomorrow, then what? How can he possibly come home when he is still losing so much blood. None of it makes any sense :(

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14 years 9 months ago #26463 by Stephany
Replied by Stephany on topic It never ends...
You first need to ask them what possible benefits there would be to the surgery.....especially this: will it extend his life, and will it improve the quality of his life?

If the answer to either question is no, then you'll have your answer, I think. Please consider talking to hospice. Going to them is not giving up, or taking the easy way out, or "getting ready to die." They will help him, and you, decide how he wants to live. And will help you get started with the conversations that you will want to have with him and your mother....about his true wishes for his life, and his family. I keep harping on this, because I think we waited too long to get the most benefit from hospice.

Let us know what you find out.

Stephany in Iowa

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14 years 9 months ago #26452 by bobmac2
Replied by bobmac2 on topic It never ends...
Wow- I can't believe that they are even suggesting this huge surgery at this point. I agree with Pat- get at least 1 more opinion before committing.
Lorrie

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