Feeling sad tonight....

Hi Mel. When my husband started to lose his hair this summer he made me shave it off. The weird thing was evan though he lost hair all over he never lost his eyelashes or the hair on his arms.Our new daughter in law had a very hard time being around him because it upset her so much. Cancer is the one illness that lets everyone know it is there by the way it changes your aperrence so fast. It is like you are wearing a big sign around your neck.
As for the t.v. ,my husband could not take it being on at all because the chemo affected his nerves in a bad way.His non hodgkins lymphoma was very aggressive so they hit him hard with the chemo.
We have always had the will thing done as everyone should no matter what age you are. You are aloud to feel anyway you want and to rant as much as you want, this is a tough thing to go through. Prayers from Rocky

Mel, one other thing that occurred to me in the middle of the night. A while ago a friend sent me a link to a very funny YouTube clip that explains the difference between a man's brain and a woman's brain. It helps to explain why "our men" seem to spend so much time just sitting, when we want them to be doing. Just a thought....



Stephany in Iowa

This probably seems morbid but when my husband died in the hospital during bypass surgery......even through my grief the first thing i did after i got out of my fetal position was contact my attorney and have all those things done, medical power of attorney, living will, even put all my monies in a TOD account for my children so they wouldn't have to go through probate, and a will drawn up. My husband and i always talked about doing it but somehow thinking we were invincible we just put it off. This is more of a gift to my family.........Pat

Mel, let me tell you....when we got our "living will" and all the rest written up, it was SUCH a burden lifted for us. You cannot imagine. Celebrate with them that they are able to get this paperwork all done for you. Make sure they do the durable power of attorney, AND the health care power of attorney, and all the rest of that stuff too.

It sounds morbid, I know, but they fact that they are doing all this at this point, when they can talk about it and plan, is a wonderful gift they are giving themselves and you.

I hope you can come to see it that way.

And if you give your folks a subscription to netflix, there are some great documentaries....like "God Grew Tired of Us" and "Sicko", as well as entire seasons of really funny tv shows.

Hugs from cold, cold, Iowa.

Stephany in Iowa

I know what you mean - my Dad had a stroke 3 months ago and was in very bad shape, he has some improvement but is still unable to be taken home. We kept trying to make him think positively and all he wanted to do was discuss his funeral and hymns! I guess he was being realistic but it was heard to hear.
You mentioned your Dad's hair - It's always the relatively "little things" that make things real, I guess because we actively deal with the bigger ones! Last week we were waiting for CT scan results for my husband and I got asked if I'd make cupcakes for my son's school party - the thought that I might not have time to make cupcakes if the scan result was bad almost finished me off! (The result was good and cupcakes can be made after all)

Thanks for the replies. Married life has been great (wish we were still honeymooning in Hawaii though!)

I have suggested the netflix also...we have it and love it! I might just go ahead and get that for them.

To top it all off, my mother calls and tells me that they are writing up a living will. Of course I know this is the sensible and smart thing to do, but it also makes it all even more real. No one ever wants to think this is going to happen.