Just rambling

Wow. Your husband and children are very lucky to have you. My question was still very insensitive but I so appreciate your kindness. My mom is hanging in there. I think that in some ways, she has already come to terms with this. I know that as things progress, the Lord will give us all strength. We still don't have test results, so worrying at this point I guess is borrowing trouble, but I still do it. She had the PET scan today and results come Thursday. In a way the hardest part is the unknown. We just don't know what to expect. Our oncologist is not very forthcoming. He doesn't like to give bad news?!?!? Well, no one does, but he might be in the wrong business....you think? I will be keeping your family in my prayers. I hope that things are as well as possible.

Julieann,

Please don't feel bad, or apologize. as they say: "Them are the facts Mam". I have thicker skin than that. I am on this forum because I want to help others who are going through what I have already been through, or looking for information about the road ahead. I remember all to well the desperation felt when all the news was smacking me in the face. It seemed like a day didn't pass where I wasn't faced with another challenge...That isn't even including the challenges that my poor husband, and the kids have been facing!

We have in a strange way come to grips, and have peace about what is happening...not that we still don't ache, and hurt, and cry about it...We are human, but we are realistic people...Some people think if they don't say it it won't be true...but we feel it is what it is...yes you have to fight, look for other options, and hope and pray...but when you really come to terms with it, it allows you to say so many things to each other, and look at all the good around you. That is how we are beating cancer.

When I said ask away I meant it.

How is your mom by the way?

Karen

Karen,

I'm sorry I asked such a sensitive question. I guess I just feel so desperate for information that it is fogging my judgement. I did not intend to be hurtful. I wish the best for your family and I apologize.

It is Terminal, as you know with Metastatic BC there is no cure...However there are treatments that can extend the time...It is just trying to figure out which ones are worth it...There is no exact time frame that we have been given, I think there are too many variables, and each person is so different. Sometimes especially during Chemo, I thought that he couldn't possibly handle more than this...and then there's now where we are actually getting alittle of our former life back...Some days lately I actually forget that he is sick for hours on end. That hasn't happened since the beginning of this whole mess.

Karen

Well, if you don't mind me asking.....have they given you a prognosis?

Ask away...

But here is a little synopsis:

I am 39 married with 2 kids of my own (ages 18 and 20) from a previous marriage, then I met my husband who had 4 kids (ages 17-25) and got married. We then added 2 of our own. (hence momof4) Our little ones are 4 and 7. We also added a granddaughter this year. My husband (47) was diagnosed in June with Bladder Cancer...The plan was to have his bladder removed in August, but in the Pre-surgery tests it was found that the cancer was metastatic. It affected his shoulder, ribs, pelvis, sacrum, and the joint at the top of his leg, and one lymph node in his pelvic area. So, surgery was out. He started Chemo soon after, and it continued until early Dec. At that point his shoulder was giving him so much trouble he stopped the Chemo, and started Radiation to the area. After the Radiation which ended a few weeks ago, His Creatinine levels (kidney function) were elevated so they decided to wait to see if they came back down before attempting any more Chemo. We have looked into some Clinical Trials, and other options, but we have to wait until the Blood work is done on Thurs. to find out if the levels are the same or have hopefully returned enough to continue the Chemo.

I have to say over the past 2 weeks I actually have seen a complete change in my husband. He is stronger, doing more, and is generally more "With It" than he has been in a long time. I am not looking forward to what Chemo will do to him all over again.

He never lost his hair, it did thin though...He is a very hairy Italian, I don't know if that had anything to do with it...but none the less he still has his hair...

So that is where we are today...I don't know what tomorrow will bring...but I am happy for the here and now...

Karen