Hi Rochelle,
I'm Mary and I would like to share my experiences with you. First of all, it is quite normal to have the feelings and questions you have. Anyone who has been through bladder cancer and the ensuing surgery to remove the bladder can tell you pretty much the same things I will tell you.
I was devastated to find out that I had to have this surgery. I went for a second opinion at a highly regarded cancer center in Philadelphia, Fox Chase Cancer Center.
When I got the same news, I just felt like my whole world was crashing down on my head! I was angry, anxious and not at all ready to give up my bladder. However, I have three goals in this new bladderless life. First is to grow old with my husband of 48 years. Second is to see my four grandchildren grow up happy and healthy ( they are 14, 13, 12 and 7 yrs. old). Lastly I wanted to live long enough to see my daughter get married. And she did!! Just this past summer.
So, I would say to you that if you think of this as a way to continue your life as you would want to, then maybe it will be a little less overwhelming.
It has been almost two years since my surgery, and I am doing well. The process, and it is a process, of learning how to live with a urostomy is a very individual experience. I do not particularly enjoy having a plastic bag attached to my belly that collects the urine, nor do I like having to hook myself up to an overnight collection bag. One good part of that, though, is that you'll never have to get up during the night to go to the bathroom!
Another positive - you'll be using much less toilet paper, and that will help the environment!
I am trying to help you internalize what you will be doing in the future. If I have given you too much information, I apologize, but hopefully what I have said might help you.
I wish you the best and please know that I will be praying for you. Be strong, and come back to this site with anything else you want to ask.