So sorry to hear about your husband. He has a hard road ahead, and is fortunate to have you on his team.
As for advice, please remember that we are not doctors, but know a lot of fellow patients! The type of diversion chosen is a highly personal and important decision. What is your husband's age, health, activity level? Often a surgeon will "push" the diversion he is most comfortable with.....and believe me, you don't want one doing one he has had problems with!
The neo is the most normal-like, when it is successful. However, when there are problems it is necessary to cath....but they will have removed the prostrate, so it is not difficult. I don't know of any major issues with the. Indiana...there can be adjustment issues after surgery, but that is true with all the diversions.
Your husband needs to get a second opinion at a major bladder cancer center where there is a surgeon who has expertise and a record of success with ALL of the diversions and who can offer impartial advice on what would be in the best interest of the patient. If you let us know where you are located, someone may have a good suggestion. Also, on our home page there is a Treatment Center Finder that may be helpful.
Wishing you both all the best
Sara Anne