I know just how you feel. I had a radical cystectomy in October. Cynthia's advice is excellent, she has been a guiding light for me on this journey. I did not have the option of a neobladder because of where my tumor was either. I too have an Indiana Pouch. My stoma is in the upper right quadrant of my abdomen because of prior abdominal surgery that I had. I drain about every 4 hours and have adapted pretty well, though every once in a while there is an accident.
There is life after this surgery. Just get a good experienced surgeon and follow his/her advice, it is a big surgery but you will get through it. I go out, I dance, some execise s more difficult, but I will get there too. aNd 3 months later there is no sign of cancer in me, and I hope it stays that way.
Wishing you the best and please let us know how things are going for you.
PLK