You can be with the best doctor in the world, and if he/she doesn't feel "right" it is NOT right. This is as little tricky for you, since it is your husband who is the patient, and whose decisions count.
Your husband needs to be sure that this IS the right diversion for him. I am surprised that the surgeon did not discuss all the options with you...this is not a "one size fits all." When neobladders work, they can be an excellent choice; however, they do NOT always work as advertised, and this should have been discussed with him.
If he is to have a neobladder, it needs to be done by a surgeon who does as many as a hundred a year. It is not routine surgery. Also, it is not uncommon for this decision to change during the surgery if complications arise...and this should have been discussed with you.
If you and your husband feel that it would be advisable to seek a second opinion, NOW IS THE TIME. The very best that can come out of a second opinion is that you discover that the approach suggested by your surgeon is the best option and you are good to go. However, if it is NOT the best option, now is the time to discover this.
Yes, with cancer there is some urgency. But you/he do have time to get all the research you need done so that you feel comfortable with the decisions. This is a life-altering procedure.
Sara Anne