Glenn,
So sorry that your family is facing this. The answer to your question, (as it was explained to me in laymens terms) is that they want to make sure that they have the cancer under control to an extent, and that it doesn't spread prior to surgery because after surgery it will take 6 weeks or better before she will be recovered enough for any further treatments. They may have her do chemo after the surgery as well. Chemo is rough no doubt about it, but it has come along way in the past few years. Will she be having BCG (Basically this is Bladder cleansing Chemo where they irrigate her bladder with the drug, she holds it for a few hours, and passes it before she leaves the facility) or will it be IV Chemo? There is a tremendous difference between the two. I don't think the BCG is as detrimental elsewhere as it is confined to the bladder only. My husband gets the IV Chemo, and it is rough going...
Good Luck to you and your Wife,
Karen