Hi RAH,
Not sure if you are looking for input from a female, however, I also was caught off gaurd by bladder cancer just a few short months ago. I had just married the month before and this dx was not welcomed. He lost both his parents to cancer in the past few years and my dx brought it front and center in a heartbeat. My "journey" is in the invasisve bladder cancer section if you choose to read it. Even tho it has been hard and created some uncertainty for the future....it has caused me to take some actions that I feel have helped me come to terms with the cancer and helps me stay true to myself and living.
At first I freaked out about statistics - they are there in black and white. I was originally stage 2, then 3a (after RC) and on Thursday get new scans that will tell if my lung nodule is a scar or stage4. It is tough to shift from the shock, then move into a mindset of being positive. One of the best things I chose to do was to ask my best friend to help me make a box in the basement for "just in case" or "if that happens". I bought a journal for my son, my hubby, my Mom. I put a favorite photo or momento from something special we shared - then I wrote what mattered most to me about that time. Sometimes I just share a thoughts, like howmuch it meant to me when my Mom helped me plant flowers on Sunday. I make the journal entry an opportunity to say how I feel and share the love. Ultimately, if I am blessed with 20 years
what a gift this will be to my loved ones. .....Maybe I am a bit weird, but I would not have done this as busy as I was before the cancer.
If I have freaked you out even more - forgive me. I just finished my first month of chemo and I know my brain ain't the same for now. I just wanted to share a thingee thatI have started doing that helps me make a positive step inspite of the dx.
God bless you and yours, you're all in my prayers, Holly