I too, was recently diagnosed with bladder cancer, but unlike you, it was not muscle-invasive and I'm receiving treatment. For this reason, I don't have suggestions for you follow on the cancer path, other than to not dismiss chemotherapy (or any other treatment) until you've thoroughly explored your options. This is uncharted territory for us, and we have to learn as much as possible before moving forward. Figuratively, I refer to it as the "bladder train", and it is going to take us from where we are now, to a new place. Unlike a car that can go down any road if you change your mind, we're stuck to the confines of the rails the train is on, and we're going to be on it for the long-haul. Just be sure you're getting on the right train for you, and that you've thoroughly explored where it's going and how it will affect your life.
Since I can't give you any more advice on a radical cystectomy, I'll move on to talking to you about
you.
I'm self-employed and still plan to work for a while. I'm in my mid-50's and not quite ready to hang it up yet. Now, if I was you and growing tired of my job on the police force, I'd either consider a desk job for 18 months, or would get the hell out of there as fast as possible! You've done your time and you have the retirement door right in front of you. Go on, git! I cannot stress enough that it needs to be about "you" now, and that you're going to need to focus on caring for yourself before others, and learn to love yourself more than ever. Plan to hire good people to help you with your rentals, and view it as another medical expense. It's deductible, anyway!
If you're anything like me, it has and will continue to be a devastating, emotional rollercoaster. Surround yourself with the best friends and family you have, and let them know what you're going through. You'll quickly sort through the ones that can handle the news, or not. Be prepared for your journey as much as possible and be kind to yourself, and ask lots of questions before you get on the train.
Please take some of my positive energy if you need it. It's not there every day, but today, I have some to spare.
Mike