Tammy,
Yes, it helped more than you will ever know. I think knowing what maybe to expect or knowing that, unfortunately, others have experienced similar symptoms. I hate that anyone has to go thru this - so much pain for nothing. Absolutely nothing. I run half marathons...at least that pain gets me a medal. They got nothing. If I try to be positive, I guess they got everlasting life with the Lord, but right now, that doesn't make me feel any better. I hear stories how people have been able to go to dinner with their parent and then two days later they passed...and while that's sad, I didn't get to do a thing with her...she's been in bed with pain since 7/27. It hurt her to get out of bed, to move, to talk, to laugh, to smile. She was so medicated from the pain that she didn't even really initiate conversation, she didn't just say, love you or how was your day? I think one or two times she called me and that was it. The day before she came home with hospice care, I was crying on her chest telling her how much I will miss her and she didn't say a word. It was like she wasn't comprehending what I was saying. I asked her why she wasn't saying anything and she said - I don't know what to say. All I kept thinking is how about you will miss me too...or you love me. Her mind was already changing - they say it was because of the C02 in her brain b/c she wasn't taking deep enough breaths. Everyone says to enjoy the last few days or all the moments...how do you enjoy it when she can't communicate with you? Or smile? Or tell you she loves you? Or you know she's dying soon and you want her to be in peace vs pain? I'm sorry, I guess I'm angry today. I keep asking her for signs that she's ok and around and nothing. Maybe it's too soon...I don't know. She's being cremated and her ashes will fit inside a plastic bag...that could fit in a shoe box with room to spare. I can't wrap my head around that. She didn't want a funeral or celebration of life...so this is it. I am babbling...I attached a picture of my hat. I hope you like it. My kids weren't happy I wore it yesterday, they think it's inappropriate but I don't care. Not now.