So sorry to hear the mish-mash that your father and your family have been going through. First, a word about cell cytology tests. They are notorious for being "overly sensitive." That means that they sometimes give a result that indicates cancer when there is none. Because of this, they are not used for a primary diagnosis....just as a suggestion that additional tests should be made before a diagnosis can be certain. Cells can be abnormal for lots of reasons other than cancer....a mild infection, for example. The urologist did the right thing in doing a TURB to rule cancer in or out. Fortunately, in this case, he ruled it out.
However, since your father has had a bad experience in communication with this urologist, this might be a good time to find another urologist for a second opinion on the situation. This would give him a good opportunity to "audition" a new urologist that he might be more comfortable with.
Sara Anne