questions about my wife please help

2 years 4 months ago #56846 by Jack R
Replied by Jack R on topic questions about my wife please help
WOJOS

Until tests are complete you will not have a firm diagnosis. It does no good to second guess yourself - an we have all done that - and just get ourselves upset and worried.

You and I , and many others, came to a board with the word CANCER in its name because it was what we feared most, and it was the only bladder condition we had heard about. It is understandable.

Nothing is worse than waiting for answers. We all hate that. But we have to wait for tests and reports.

Please try to stay positive - you are on the right track to get answers. Then you will have a plan set to deal with whatever is actually found. I wish you could have an answer immediately - you have waited a long time. Soon you will have an answer, a meaningful answer.

Best
Jack

6/2015 HG Papillary & CIS
3 Years and 30 BCG/BCG+Inf
Tis CIS comes back.
BC clear as of 5/17 !
RCC found in my one & only kidney 10/17
Begin Chemo; Cisplatin and Gemzar
8/18 begin Chemo# 3
Begin year 4 with cis
2/19 Chemo #4
9/19 NED again :)
1/2020 CIS is back
Tried Keytruda, stopped by side effects
Workin on a new plan for 2021

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2 years 4 months ago #56847 by iXanadu
Replied by iXanadu on topic questions about my wife please help
WOJOS,

I agree with Jack, that until the tests are complete, and the results are in ( and sometimes even then) spending too much energy on what ifs are unhelpful. A little over a year ago, I stumbled across a book titled “The unteathered soul”. I’m in the sales business, and was looking for books on mindset and ended up on this title which is about mindfulness. Curious about what mindfulness once I Purchased the book and begin reading. It has changed my life, and the lives of several around me. In a nutshell, and in a way that this book is masterful at explaining, mindfulness is about living in the now. Doing so frees you from the pain and agony of living in the past which cannot be changed, for the future that is not here and may not arrive. I highly recommend a book, and I actually believe the audible version might be more impactful than their written version. I’ve went through both.

So, armed with the prospect of mindfulness, I did spend a lot of time researching bladder cancer. I did it in a detached manner, Like any other research project I might undertake, without forecasting any particular experience that I may or may not actually experience. Mindfulness,keeps me calm and whole. The research allowed me to follow along in the tests, and conversations without asking some questions ( because I really did understand) and asking detailed, 2 and 3 level deep questions in other areas.

If you can live in the moment - you might similarly benefit from taking this on as a research project. If it gets to you, I would look for someone to study and advocate for you, or just wait it out. I can say for sure, there is no benefit owning an outcome that isn’t here now.

1/1/2019 Happy New Year: What is that red tint in the toilet
1/2/2019 Primary DR - might be first signs of BC
1/9/2019 CT Scan, Urine Culture, PSA test - ALL CLEAR
1/13/2019 Cystoscopy show what looks like Papillary
2/1/2019 TURBT
2/5/2019 Clots and blood clog urethra go to ER
2/7/2019 DX: HG...

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