Lewis,
Thank you for being there for your dad.
Every patient needs an advocate to help sort out the choices and evaluate the possible outcomes. It can be overwhelming for the patient to do it alone.
You will need to ask all the questions about possible options - what it involves, recovery time, changes in every day life after each option, rehabilitation, quality of life after, etc.
Fair to say that many of us here are willing to try most anything to keep our bladders; it sounds like dad has passed over that line, and the goal changes to seeking the best outcome that matches the lifestyle dad planned for his future.
I suggest the following for backgrpound reading, making the assumption of a bladder removal, to provide some background.There are many areas to explore in that file.
www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping
We hope for the best for you dad. He will need your support. You can post any specific questions in this forum, and receive answers from others with bladder cancer (and their supporters).
Remember to take care of yourself as you take care of you dad.
Best
Jack