Hi Dani,
I just joined this site because I was curious about what people had to share years after going through RC, and I saw your post. I know everybody's sutuation is different and experiences will vary depending on age, sex, health, etc. I was initially skeptical of my doctor's motivations when he diagnosed me with cancer, sensing they suggest surgery based on the prestige and revenue it produces for them. But I can tell you are a definitely more pragmatic than I was, and after having gone through my surgery almost four years ago I feel confident saying it was the best solution based on my situation.
I was presented with the option of radiation or surgery. After I decided surgery was the most comprehensive action it was suggested I do nine weeks of chemothearpy before having the surgery because the TURBT is not guaranteed to remove every cancer cell, and chemo would presumably knock-off any cells that may have escaped. I don't remember what letters or numbers my cancer cells were, so this may be why they didn't suggest chemo for you.
I had my surgery on a Firday and they would have sent me home Monday except there was a blizzard and I didn't have anybody to pick me up. I was able to walk from the gurney to the bed post surgery. Overall pain was not a very big issue. The worst pain I experienced immediately after surgery was gas bloating and if it werent' for an observant nurse that suggested gasx I would have been begging for narcotics. The most effective pain med however was some potent IV NSAID (don't remember the name)
The first couple months are more inconvenient than debiliating. After all the healing is completed, incontinence is the most frustrating thing. I needed to use a catheter for over a year because the ureter kept trying to heal shut. I highly recommend getting sent home with hard plastic catheters, all I had was a soft rubber reusable one and had to make an emergency appointment after trying, unsuccessfully, to urinate for a couple days.
Today I don't need to cath myself anymore, voiding is much easier and more natural, after learning to relax instead of force, and leaking is practically non-existent, day or night. I still have to get up in the middle of the night however. No more solid seven hours of sleeping. Sexually everything is good, I'd say 80% of pre-surgery.
I hope you make the most well-informed decision for your situation and thank you for sharing.