Badblad, did you study the Cleveland Clinic link that was posted on this thread?
my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments_and_procedures/hic_Urinary_Reconstruction_and_Diversion
It briefly describes and three procedures and their pros/cons for you. Alan highly recommends this, as do I.
Many of your questions are answered in the Cleveland Clinic web site. First, the neobladder is not generally as successful in women as in men. It may require use of catheters...sometimes it does not hold at all and the patient is incontinent. Occasionally it does not work in releasing urine and requires use of a catheter every few hours.
With the Indiana pouch, a catheter is used generally every four to six hours. Our president, Cynthia, has this diversion and, if I didn't know about it, I would never know she had it. She carries her catheter in a little cosmetic bag in her purse (sorry for telling all your secrets, Cyn!)
The illeal condiut has a bag on the outside (somewhat similar to those used when someone has their colon removed) which is emptied as it fills.
I really urge you to study the web site (above) for a lot more information,
Sara Anne