I thought that your post deserved its own thread, so I moved it!
So sorry that you have to be here. A lot of us can sympathize with you...we have all been where you are. I remember when I was first diagnosed and both my urologist and my primary care doc asked if I didn't think I was depressed. That made me a bit angry....DIDN'T I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED?
You are started on a "new reality" but you can, and will, become accustomed to it. And you have every right to feel discouraged and depressed....no one expects you to be delighted with the situation.
A few things to remember....Bladder cancer can be treated and controlled, if you keep up with your therapies and exams. Yes, it does have a habit of returning, but if you are vigilant you and your doctor will keep on top of it. Even if it does reach a point where the best thing is bladder removal, you can still have a long and comfortable life...there are many on this Forum who have done this. Another thing to remember is that one of the common side effects of BCG is fatigue. And when you are already a bit down, having your "get up and go" just plain get up and go can really drag you down. Just take things now a day at a time....your job is to get well, get through the BCG, and come out the other side. The fatigue is one sign that the BCG is working. As it reacts with the bladder lining and with your tumors the pain should eventually recede.
Please do not give up on this. Your condition is very treatable and it is well worth the discomfort that comes with the treatments.
Please feel free to share your feelings and ask any questions you wish.
Sara Anne