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Best way to respond to the news?

6 years 9 months ago #45728 by GKLINE
I welcome you here. And I am sorry to welcome you here. This is a very exclusive club.... and our mission is to kick you out of this club as soon as possible. In other words..... we want a cure for your friend, so you, and he, can get on with life.

I think the role of a close friend is Very important and listening is #1 on the list. Because YOU are just that removed enough to hear what is really being said. I remember when the Dr. first said the word cancer to my wife and I. We didn't hear a word for about 20 minutes after we were so shocked.
You are going to be the eyes and ears of the group. You will, hopefully, be able to judge things with a little less emotion than the patient or his daughter.

This disease is a very aggressive little troll, and you need to find an aggressive treatment. Finding a Dr. who will fight for you is SOOOOOOOO important. Second opinion.... SOOOOOO Important.

We"ll help you along the way.


Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
New Man! [/size]

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6 years 9 months ago #45725 by sara.anne
I am so sorry to hear about your friend! This is a devastating disease. And you are in a difficult position...family but... I have been there, so I understand.

First, you can really help your friend, and her father, by just BEING THERE. To listen, to encourage, and to love. You are the only one who can judge how far you are able to go with questions and suggestions. Some families would welcome them and some might not.

If you are able to have some influence, you would want to be sure that he is being seen at a place that regularly treats LOTS of bladder cancer patients. The state of the art is changing so rapidly in treatment options, that you want to be sure he is being offered the very latest and best. There is a lot of information on this web site about places for excellent treatment.

As you are aware, stage 4 is NOT a good diagnosis. Your loving support will mean a lot to your "family."

My heart goes out to you.

Sara Anne4

Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator

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6 years 9 months ago #45723 by Melanie
Today my best friend's father was diagnosed with stage 4 bladder cancer. I want to be there for her and also be as informed as possible. What sort of questions should I ask in order to properly research and become well informed about his condition. I grew up with her, this man is basically a second father to me. I love him and want to make sure he gets the best treatment and care that he can get. Thanks in advance for any replies. Any and all advice is appreciated, this is all so new and scary for me.

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