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Father has Cancer

7 years 9 months ago - 7 years 9 months ago #43941 by Rick

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. You are wise to seek a second opinion from a specialist. More people should do so.


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7 years 11 months ago #43531 by GKLINE
What Mark Said.

Couldn't say it any better.

Your dad was me. Four Years Ago. I heard the word cancer and BOOM! My mind went into it's own world.

I didn't want to be a burden
I was frightened to death!
I had to be strong and act as if I was in control.
I was CLEARLY ..... OUT of Control!
I wanted to be the center of the world
I didn't want to be the Center of the world.
I needed MY Family more now, than EVER!
I didn't want to be a burden.

Four Years ago I had my bladder and my prostate removed. Yes, it was BIG surgery.

Last Month I became the New York State Roadracing Champion in E Production!
(Don't make a big deal out of it! EP is a very small group of cars)

Your dad will still be Dad when this is over. He may even be a BETTER dad after this. You may even be a better daughter when this is over.
But both of you will have faced the demon and "kicked It's Ass!"

Sincerely, and with Love, George

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
New Man! [/size]

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7 years 11 months ago - 7 years 11 months ago #43525 by upnorth
Just remember that Dads are Dads. Treat them with respect and true concern for their welfare. My father only could hear from one ear and that one needed a hearing aid. It never once stopped him from hearing us tell him how much we loved him.

He would get a little mad at us if we started to feel sorry for our selves, instead of making the most out of every moment we had left together. He never quit fighting the cancer and trying to keep everyone up-beat and working together to cure it.

When they diagnosed him as terminal he asked them if they had any risky or untried testing that needed to be done. He told them he had nothing to lose but cancer. They sent him to Iowa to try out some risky procedures. This made him very happy that maybe his loss would be someone else's gain.

We lost him, but I just know in my heart that what he did way back then is the very reason that I and many of the others are still here and fighting today.

So lets quit worrying about making him upset, and start making the best of every moment together. I never once pulled my hand away from one of my children when they held it out. And even when I was in my deepest worry about my cancer, I wanted to be with my children and grand-children.

I am sure that your father feels much the same way. So go hold his hand, and remember to smile. That is every grumpy old mans Kryptonite.

God Bless


Age 55
Diagnosed BC 12/20/2011 Ta No Mo 0a Non-Invasive At age 48
"Please don't cry because it is over..... Smile because it happened!" {Dr. Seuss} :)

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7 years 11 months ago #43517 by Babsiebob
I had my bladder removed 4 and a half years ago and I am just fine. I also had stage 3, I now have an Ileal Conduit, that is a bag attached to my belly and I am doing everything that I did before cancer. I for one was very happy when the Dr said that my bladder had to come out. I just wanted the cancer gone as quick as possible.
Good luck to your dad and keep the faith.

Dx 4-28-08
pT3a no mo
Rc with Ileal Conduit on 6-09-08
2nd surgery on 6-27-09 for ureter leak
Renal failure on 7-01-09 nephy tube and then stent on 7-09-09
so far so good

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7 years 11 months ago #43516 by mmc
Had my bladder out 4 years ago and I am perfectly fine.


Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...

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7 years 11 months ago #43515 by LEBM
My dad will have his bladder removed the 27th of this month. This is the second time his cancer has come back. He was first diagnosed about 10 years ago and it came back last May. He did two months of chemo and then they decided it was time to remove the bladder. I am also very scared but know that we will help him though this. My dad does not like to talk about it and is just ready to get everything done. He is also having a hernia removed at the same time.
This is what I keep telling myself...Stay calm, take deep breaths and take one day at a time. I was also scared to talk to my dad. I did not know what to say or how to go about it. But after some time of him getting used to the idea of what was going to happen I just opened up to him.
I just found this forum and it has really helped me understand BC and that other people are going through the same thing. You are not alone. I wish you and your family the best of luck.

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