Thank you very much for your replies. I grate grateful appreciate it.
On next Friday i will get in the hospital for cystoscopy. So i don't know right know more details about the grade. The only thing that i know is that i have had pee, only blood, a couple of times for a couple of days a few months ago and i have a mass in my bladder 3.5 cm. And of-course the doctors have arranged for me, extremely quickly, to get in for the biopsy. So what is going on in my life, right know is like a Hollywood movie, running fast and hoping for the best end.
For the time being what i am trying to do (and the most of you can understand that) is to support my self psychologically and to try to paint a smile in my face every time i talked to my wife and to my son (and of course to everybody else). My son, which is almost 6 years old, doesn't know what is going on, though i can understand that he has the feeling that something doesn't go well. And my wife, who is pregnant and by the middle of August is going to give a birth ( our daughter) is having a psychological breakdown. I am trying very hard, to keep her calm and to explain to her and make her understand that is only a bad incident that we will go through it and at the end of the day everything is going to be OK and we will be together for the rest of our lives; though inside me i have no idea what really is going to happen.
Really, i don't want nobody to knows (except my family)that i have cancer cause i hate the feeling of mercy though i have the need to talk so much to people that they have passed through or they are passing through the same not so fortunate story in their life.
Unfortunately, the word Cancer, for those who don't have any kind of experience (cause in my family and in my wife's family there wasn't any kind of cancer incident in the past), it listens like the ticket to the other world in a time less than zero.
And the first shock feels like the gravity is disappearing, the earth is collapsing and all the story of my life passing through my eyes and only my eyes in a speed greater than the speed of light.
At least that was the initially shock.
Internet has become my best friend and i am trying to collect as many information as i can. And to tell you the truth this forum has given me a much more positive view for my future, since i have understood, that bladder cancer is not a death sentence, as Mike told me and i would like to thanks him very very much for his reply. Also, i would like to say thank you to Anita for what she wrote me about her husband, which is really give me a good injection of hope and positive way of thinking, something that i desperately need it. Though, i have to wait for the results of the biopsy and after the cystoscopy, probably i would really know where i am standing.
For the time being, i am extremely positive, that everything will go well. And since positive way of thinking is the best medicine in our psychology, thanks you for your replies and this medicine that you are giving to me!
