Carol,
How old is your dad and what kind of shape is he in?
The surgery lasts between 6 to 8 hours and is pretty darn traumatic on the body. They won't know for certain if he can get the neobladder until they are in there.
Is he getting chemo first or is it planned for after?
Where is he getting the surgery?
He should get it from someone who does at LEAST 50 a year. You want a surgeon who does this day in and day out. Study after study has shown this results in better outcomes.
The hospital stay will likely be 5-7 days. It all depends on how fast his intestines wake up. That can be helped by him chewing gum after surgery (no swallowing) and by walking. He will NOT feel like walking but he MUST. The surgical nurses will help you figure out when but it should be as soon as he can. Even if it is just walking in place a bit next to the bed the first time, it is beneficial. The next day he should walk out of the room in the morning and up the halls in the afternoon, early evening, and night. Someone needs to be with him for the walk because he will be shaky and he'll have tubes and drains and a catheter. He should keep the pain 'under control'. That is, not let it get out of control but also not expect to have no pain. The pain meds slow the wakening process of the intestines.
When he's home, he needs to walk also. Getting outside and walking a bit one way and then back the other, never getting very far. Tiring out VERY fast will be expected.
When coming home from the hospital he should have a pillow or giant teddy bear (depending on his sense of humor) to hold against his abdomen when in the car.
Other folks here have a lot to contribute as well. Are there specific questions that you have?
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...