Welcome Ben and Pam!
Sorry you have to join the club but I'm glad you found us when you needed us.
I'm pretty sure already that you are both going to be long term added value to this site as you go through this process, learn, and then contribute back to others on the site in the future.
I was T2 G3 and got my neobladder in October of 2008. So I'm over three years cancer free now. Three years from now I plan to see you posting that same thing in response to someone else when they show up as a newbie.
Your doctor sending you to another that does over 50 a year is really great. As you have seen from reading this site, that is one of the biggest predictors of success with the neobladder surgery.
There are people who are no longer on this side of the lawn because they thought it OK to go with the doc that does a couple a year. Some were lucky and are doing fine but why play the odds.
My wife is a nurse also so I can tell you that it surely helps. She won't be all grossed out and my wife handled all the neobladder flushing for me when I came home from the hospital. Non-nurses can do that also but just knowing that she has the skills to take care of things and recognize if something isn't right can make a difference in your confidence level when you are back home.
As I mentioned on another response to a different post of yours, GOOD LUCK!!!
Do make sure the kids know that bladder cancer is very treatable when caught early and treated aggressively. You are taking the right path for being around years from now.
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...