First, take a deep breath. You ARE doing the right things...going online brought you to this web site and it has TONS of information....more than you can probably absorb right now.
Second, where are you located geographically? It is especially important that you go to a urologist who is experienced in dealing with bladder cancer (if indeed that is the problem.) Many urologists make a living treating prostate problems, and are not experts in bladder issues. There are people who moniter this forum who can give sound advice and where to find this kind of specialist.
Third, as you read through the information on this site, you will see that IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. All of us felt just as you do now when we were first diagnosed. For the most part bladder cancer IS treatable and there are lots of people here who can help you.
Fourth, you do not have a definitive diagnosis yet. Just be sure that you are getting the best medical advice and treatment possible!
Good luck and keep good thought!!
Sara Anne