Tom,
Sorry to hear about the situation but glad you found us here. So, yes, you are getting a little ahead of yourself but the 'plan for the worst, hope for the best, and be grateful you wind up in the middle' is a good plan.
You don't really know until the tumor is out and the pathology report comes in. If it is only on the inner lining (majority of the time this is the case) then treatment will depend on the grade. Yes, it can be a big tumor but still just be on the surface.
It sounds like you might want to ask about prostate biopsy as well since the PSA doesn't really have much to do with bladder cancer and it was just coincidence that they found this.
This is something I put together some time back. It shows at a high level how the treatment options usually flow. Some folks have found it helpful and printed it out to use as a discussion tool with their doctor.
Map of the journey
If bladder cancer is indeed the diagnosis, your very next step should be to get to the best bladder cancer hospital with the best doctors for what many call a 2nd opinion (but I call it getting to the right specialist).
Actually, if your urologist doesn't do a whole lot of TURBs, you may want to consider getting the TURB done by a top bladder cancer doc. The more experienced and more focused on bladder cancer, the better it is for you. The top hospitals for bladder cancer also have better pathology labs/doctors.
I do want to stress that you are not alone in this. It's new to you right now and it's pretty dang shocking but there are many of us here who have been there, done that.
Bladder cancer is one of the most treatable cancers if caught early and treated aggressively.
My fingers are crossed that you wind up telling us you have a benign tumor or at the most, low grade superficial.
Only unasked questions are the dumb ones so ask anything and everything you can think of.
Mike