sleeping a little better now

11 years 3 months ago #30150 by gijosephine
sleeping a little better now was created by gijosephine
i rest easier but still a bit weary with concerns about sterting all over. yes my cancer is non-invasive and i have one reacurrence, but what gets to me is i cant plan my future it does not seem to be a future of nothing but cancer reacurrences. i dream future of being cancer-free must make a living some how must try to plan to live. i would like a new beginning a new outlook on my life even if having cancer is part of my life. lack of sleep is a very little part of whats happening to me. a cold hard reality check of my future is?

this is where i need to be

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11 years 3 months ago #30154 by sara.anne
Replied by sara.anne on topic sleeping a little better now
Josephine, once you are able to "get your head around" all of this ....and it will take a while...life will return to normal. When I was first diagnosed it was all I could think about. The other day someone asked about my "health" and it took a few seconds for me to realize what he was asking!! I feel fine and have adapted to seeing my uro every three months just as I have my internist.

I have "settled down" to a normal life. Leaving in two weeks on a month's trip to Australia and New Zealand and planning one to Russia in July. Life goes on. AND I may appreciate it even more now.

Stick with it...and with us...and we will get you through this. Have you talked to your doctor about depression? It is a natural response to all that is hitting you and there are things that can help. It took depression meds to get me through this. Off them now and feeling great.

Sara Anne

Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator

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11 years 3 months ago #30171 by rabyrd
Replied by rabyrd on topic sleeping a little better now
Sorry your cancer has just recurred. The cold hard reality of superficial bladder cancer is that there is always the possibility of recurrence - that's why we have to stay vigilent with follow-up visits - so that it stays non-invasive.

I was diagnosed 18 months ago, and I haven't gotten past a three month visit without having new growths. But I have learned to accept that cystoscopes and TURB-T's are part of my new reality. And yes, I still stress every time it's time for another cystoscope - or another round of BCG or Mitomycin - but not doing those things would only increase my chances of having an invasive bladder cancer.

So, you can adjust to the new reality that as long as you have a bladder - you have the chance for recurrence. But non-invasive tumors give us a reason to celebrate!

Rebecca

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11 years 3 months ago #30177 by GKLINE
Replied by GKLINE on topic sleeping a little better now
"Life is what happens when you are planning other things." I know how you feel. This cancer thing is a royal pain.
It is disruptive to my schedule and this 3 month checkup routine is making me crazy.

But, I accept this process as merely an inconvenience. I know it is easy to focus on the negative, but DO NOT let this dominate your life. Put the whole thing in perspective and schedule this disease as you would a dentist routine. I think it helps minimize the frustration.

Keep on planning and scheduling your future. But, be prepared for the disruption. Look forward to being in a changing environment and enjoy the ride.

sleep well

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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11 years 3 months ago #30181 by gijosephine
Replied by gijosephine on topic sleeping a little better now
i hear you all loud and clear. but living this way is not living at all. its only moment to moment or rather cytoscope to cytoscope test. i dont want any medications to cope,with a depressing thought about bladder cancer. i want hope for my future, iwant a future without this bladder cancer can this be so? i am playing the cards that were dealt to me i just dont want to play anymore. learning to live moment to moment as i have makes me a survivor and yes i admit i am a cancer survivor but does anyone ever survive cancer?

this is where i need to be

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11 years 3 months ago #30183 by Patricia
Replied by Patricia on topic sleeping a little better now
Could you get hit by a truck tomorrow? YEP....will that thought prevent you from planning a future? How old are you?
Geez gloom and doom...and yes there are all kinds of cancer survivors out there.
If you don't want to go from cystoscope to cystoscope have them do a cystectomy and get an Indiana Pouch and cath 4 times a day. You probably don't like that plan either.
Look both ways when crossing the street!
Pat

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