Hmmmm....perhaps it could be that love you very, very much and are scared more than anything about not being able to fix the cancer and even more scared about the thought of losing you.
Just a thought....
In my case, I used to joke it about it. Easier for me to deal with that way and I didn't want our home to be a tense place. Of course we both had our fears but I suppose I kept most of them to myself and most times I figured I would get better anyway since I learned about the treat-ability of bladder cancer.
When people would say things, I'd say something like "Sure, let's kick around the cancer boy." Doesn't look so funny in writing but I can tell you it most certainly was when I'd say it. Guess you had to be there.
Everyone deals with things differently and in the best way they can. Just like any other times the whole Men Are From Mars; Women Are From Venus thing comes up.
Can't say how many times I've said to my wife "If you want me to think and act like a woman, then maybe you should have married a woman." We're wired differently so we react differently and think differently. We tend to be direct so we tend not to understand when a woman drops 4000 hints about something. Obviously, there are a host of other examples. If you don't want us to fix a problem, don't tell us... If you want us to do something, ask us... etc.
By the way, during the course of my dealing with bladder cancer and having the RC surgery and the follow on issues, my wife and I have become so much closer together and fallen more deeply in love than ever before. And ever before wasn't just small potatoes either so that's really saying something.
She was there for me, took care of me, thought about life without me, made sure the nurses in the hospital did their jobs properly (she's a nurse so she knows), any many other things.
Knowing how much you are loved can certainly make a big difference in your life. Some people don't always say it and they don't always know how to act they way we hope they will, but hopefully they do.
Tell them what you need from them and ask them if they can. If they can't, they may have a very good reason that just isn't apparent.
Mike