Emotional highs and lows

15 years 11 months ago #15968 by tahoemom
Replied by tahoemom on topic Emotional highs and lows
That's what my hubby said too. He said he'd be lying on the ground when he got through with him ,heehee

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15 years 11 months ago #15964 by fearandfight
Replied by fearandfight on topic Emotional highs and lows
Rick where were you at the urinal and if so then that dude is a peeker every man knows you look at the tile in front of you that's the rule man. Joe ;)

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15 years 11 months ago #15873 by tahoemom
Replied by tahoemom on topic Emotional highs and lows
That is a remarkably inspiring story, Rah . So happy that it could be dealt with and it is GONE! Awesome!

I'm in my scared mode at the moment , but I see that it can be cured. And that it isn't anything that will cause me to be a hermit.
I just wish I knew where I stand. This is just so dam hard , waiting to know. I just still need a good cry every now and then still.

But thank you so much for your post. I hope to be in your frame of mind real soon :)

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15 years 11 months ago #15870 by RAH
Replied by RAH on topic Emotional highs and lows
Tahoemom,
Starting a little over a year ago when I found out I had cancer, it seems like "Cancer on the Mind" would never go away. First it was the whirlwind of thoughts when I first found out. Then there was the education of reading everything at this site and others. And finally it was onto the surgery and treatments. It felt like a continuous-never-ending-all-consuming way of living my life.
Well something wonderful happened last week that changed things. I went to the doctor for a six month check up of scans, blood work, and cell checks. All came back clean. That was great news, but it wasn’t what I am referring to. What happen to show that “Cancer on my Mind” isn’t going to be always there was when I went to use the bathroom in a public place. I was at the urinal leaking my bag (I have an Ileal Conduit external pouch). The man next to me glanced and saw that I was peeing from a bag. He asked me, “What’s up with that?” I told him I had Bladder Cancer and my bladder was removed and this is my urinary diversion.
You may have missed it, but it was a big deal to me. It was the first time I used the words “had bladder cancer” rather then “have bladder cancer”.
I know that the cancer will never be out of my mind completely. I will always have the pouch and bag to remind me of where I have been. It is just that life’s everyday events are in my forefront in my mind, and cancer is really in the back of my mind.
It is a long-emotional-draining haul. I know that I can get on with living my life with cancer instead of Cancer ruining my life. I pray the same is true for you.
Keep your Faith
Take Care
Rick.

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15 years 11 months ago #15869 by tahoemom
Replied by tahoemom on topic Emotional highs and lows
Thanks bali and Julie ,

I do think once everything sorta gets in a routine of what will be done and how and where I will go to do it , I will settle down some.
Right now just waiting is awful. I will definitely not let cancer have me! I refuse. But I DO need a plan so I feel more in control. Hopefully with the next appointment I will find answers I need; and after the next cystoscopy and tumor removal, and finding out what's up , I will be calmer and get on with the fight.

Such great advice from you both , thanks so much

P.S. Only problem is the rollercoaster ride is still with me , but I suppose this too shall pass .

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15 years 11 months ago #15865 by balihigh
Replied by balihigh on topic Emotional highs and lows
Tahoemom,
I have been dealing with bladder cancer just since January and know the emotions you are going through. When I first discovered blood in my urine, I was a total zombie. I knew it was cancer immediately and my reading on the internet confirmed my fears. I saw the doctor within the week and he found my tumors. For me, the very worst was the waiting. I could hardly get out of my recliner. I did not want to eat and I seemed to sleep lots which is hard for me to imagine now. I have always been very active, walking at least 2 miles everyday, doing most of the yard work on our 2 1/2 acres which is steep and going all the time even though I am "retired".

I decided that I had to have some control of the situation and that has improved me mentally so much. I read everything I can get my hands on, books and on the internet. This site is great!! Writing about it helps too. I am doing some of the alternative stuff like taking supplements, eating much healthier, keeping up with my exercise although I don't have the energy I did have, and doing some of the mind imaging.

Now I really don't dwell on it. Life goes on and I have decided that no matter how much longer I have to live, I want to live having fun and living a half way normal life. If I let this cancer control me, it has won and I am not going to let that happen. None of us know the future anyway. I maybe killed tomorrow in an auto accident but I want to enjoy life.

I will be finishing my BCG treatments in 2 weeks and then I go for my cysto. Of course, with this cancer, I don't think we are ever "cured".

Mom4, my heart is with you. I, too, am in NC.
Nancy

female 60
1/08 dx 4 tumors TURB
T1 G3
12 BCG + interferon
5/08 another tumor/TURB
9/08 RC illieal conduit

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