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Emotional highs and lows

12 years 6 months ago #16068 by tahoemom
Thanks so much ,Joe (hubby's name also :))
Everytime I read another post here , I seem to feel stronger. I know it isn't going to be easy, but so much of my life has been hard and yet here I am. Another thing to tackle, and I WILL tackle it.

I'm so happy to hear about your great attitude :)

I promise to try my darnedest . Right now I don't even know for sure what I am fighting , at least not to what degree. The waiting gets to me at times . I'm handling it pretty good though, I think . Hope I continue to.

Love and hugs, Jeanne

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12 years 6 months ago #16056 by fearandfight
tahoemom when I first came here and I will never forget this Wendy who is a doll told me Joe once you get cancer it changes your life forever and how true that is. I was dx with a 2 inch tumor on 1/18/07. So I took that bull by the horns and said it's time to go to war and I fought a rough battle. I wasn't going to give up no matter what and I didn't. I had the chemo first and then my surgery and I always put my cards on the table it was no picnic the chemo tired me out and the surgery was grueling because I had a prior surgery and I wasn't in the best of shape I inherited some James Dean I think lol. Anyways the recovery takes time and some folks recoverd faster then me because I had other medical problems this is why you need to focus on yourself, take some advice but no one knows you better then you know yourself. Cancer sucks and when I was told I had BC I about fell off the chair it was a real mortality check. We all know we come into this world and someday we will won't be here this is life. But right now I told the big "C" I ain't going anywhere yet so I knew I was ready to fight. It's normal to be scared but I know you have read many posts here and as you can see many folks have been in all kinds of situations. I was a T3 G3 and scared also we are humans not robots. In another post I know I said I had the chemo and then my RC and as of now I am cancer free. My life has changed no doubt and I have my days but as time goes by I am living my life if you keep thinking of cancer then you live in fear all the time and that is not living. I could of walked in front of a bus and got squashed like a bug but I am here and I have my wife and three sons and 2 grandkids so even though I got cancer I have alot to be thankful for. Take Care, Joe ;)

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12 years 7 months ago #16041 by tahoemom
I've been through that not afraid to die stage already with my stroke and heart attack...I made it through really bad odds :D I worked my butt off to do it, but I did it!
Mostly it is the treatments that are creeping me out . I have a hard time with meds of any kind and hope my allergies won't interfere. Plus , I don't like feeling yucky :) AND I hate pain . I tolerate it well , but I mean who likes pain?

But since I have no idea ewven what stage, kind, anything about what I will be doing . I might as well have my coffee , my breakfast, and get ready for the day :)

Thanks ,Wendy ....you are soooooooo right ! That pain in my back last night set off a bout of fears, even though logic told me that "you tried to move a heavy bed, stupid" . I finally calmed down enough to think straight thanks to Patricia xxxooo

Still planning that vacation doesn't sound so bad :)

Keep writing everyone , I am beginning to really think I can do this !

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12 years 7 months ago #16035 by wendy

Even though my logic says it will be handled and might even be cured ,I just can't stop feeling kinda doomed and sad at times.
Pretty rotten disease , isn't it :(

Some wise person once told me when i started out looking for support during my sister's fight with breast cancer..."We all die." It was almost a slap in the face, it made so much sense. Simple common sense. It's just that we don't think about it, keep it blocked from our consciousness. A word like 'cancer' stirs up fear, to be sure. Mostly fear of suffering, because of the way we've been programmed to think and feel about cancer and death.

But there is the gift of time that comes with cancer. I mean..it beats getting hit by a bus, there is time to take stock of things. Sometimes it brings out the best in us, too, as well as the worst, of course.

Cancer survivors are vulnerable, and every ache and pain will be scary, forever, I guess. I"m 8 yrs NED (no evidence of disease) and have had a number of scares. With time, I got less panicky when something hurts. It got easier with each scare.

I lived from follow-up to follow up the first few years post-dx, made a plan for a vacation and just looked forward to that, as if I wouldn't make the next six months. It was stupid. I'm beginning to realize how much time I wasted preparing to die happily instead of live happily. Doh!

As a newly diagnosed person with treatments ahead, you're in the toughest position, but keep in mind that treatments are temporary, you will heal. You might find that 'survival mode' kicks in to give you courage you never knew you had.

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12 years 7 months ago #15997 by tahoemom
You're great RAH! I have that kind of humor ,too. It keeps me relatively sane .
I find the humor if I can, and if I can't I can come here and get some needed hugs.

Yep! You can hold your pee forever , heehee.

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12 years 7 months ago #15996 by tahoemom

Tahoemom, I think we were very lucky to find this gang

Are we ever!! I had no idea what to think or what to do. I am still scared , but these folks have given such good advice and such optimistic opinions :)

Good luck with your diagnosis and I'll be praying for you :)

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