Clur,
Rosemary's right about having every right to feel as you do, and many of us have been there that's for sure. She also asked if you'd had a second opinion, and I want to add to that my question about are you seeing a urologist in a large medical center or teaching hospital? Another question is whether or not your surgeon has performed this particular procedure previously on women?
You also mention that because of the location of your tumor they will have to perform this particular procedure, but let me say that this was what was thought when I was being staged as well. However I ended up with a RC, hysterectomy, and ileal orthotopic neobladder (which means I'm hooked up to my own plumbing -urethra), and I didn't have any portion of my vagina revised as every other organ removed from my body was negative for cancer (I'm also two days away from being cancer free for 2 1/2 years and I've only had surgery-no chemo).
My point in mentioning this is there could be a possibility this might be true for you, but of course you need to discuss it with your surgeon, or you could also discuss it while obtaining a second opinion with another urologist.
You mention you're scheduled for surgery on 23 August, but you didn't mention when you were diagnosed. The time between my diagnosis and my surgery was about seven weeks, and much of that time I spent researching on the internet and asking questions of others. If you're feeling rushed into this you might consider taking a little more time making your decision, and doing that won't necessarily cause you any problems with your disease progressing. This is your decision, not something you should feel forced or rushed into.
Continue asking questions about your situation, and if your doctor doesn't want to answer them or tries to rush you into this I would consider going to another doctor. Know that we know how you're feeling, and we want to help if we can. You're in our prayers...
God Bless
Lou