Advice for husband

16 years 4 months ago #10360 by Rosemary
Replied by Rosemary on topic Advice for husband
Pat,

How's it going?

I think that Warren is right. Your husband has too much time to brood, and after all, he is a MAN and lots of men identify with their jobs. So, not only is your husband faced with POTENTIAL loss (the bladder) but also he is LIVING a loss in REALITY (His job). And all because of .....CANCER >:(

Okay, I've never heard of someone quitting their jobs because of the risks of bladder cancer. If it's not TOO personal, can I ask what he did for a living?

Here's wishing him the best,
Rosemary

Rosemary
Age - 55
T1 G3 - Tumor free 2 yrs 3 months
Dx January 2006

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16 years 4 months ago #10359 by Patricia
Replied by Patricia on topic Advice for husband
I would report his stomach pain to his doctor. Its possible he's in a small percentage that react to BCG. Pat

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16 years 4 months ago #10339 by Gene Beane
Replied by Gene Beane on topic Advice for husband
Hi again,
Some men won't get on the forum, there a curious bunch,,,my husband had his bladder out Sept. 14th,,had some depression after surgery,,he is now getting on the forum to talk to some men facing surgery..cell phone talk. It seems your not having any friends around and being rural is a problem, he drives? yes. I think counseling if he will go and a excercise plan would work, if he will do it, ,,I will give you my husbands cell number as well if he would like to talk to him, but we are in Invasive bladder cancer with removal so I wouldn't want to scare him either. we went from normal to not, all in a big scoop,,,but glad to help all the same.
Just ask and we will give you our cell number on a pm. Any kind of work would be great,,part time or otherwise,, something he likes to do....get him out of the house. Ginger

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16 years 4 months ago #10338 by wsilberstein
Replied by wsilberstein on topic Advice for husband
For what it's worth, I understand not going back to the industry that may have given him bladder cancer, but retiring at 56, unless you have big plans for retirement, is probably as depressing as the CIS and it's treatment. I've missed a few days of work over the years, but very few. I've been to work catheterized. Whether your husband finds a new job or does some volunteer work, he needs a purpose to his life that goes beyond treating his cancer.

-Warren
TaG3 + CIS 12/2000. TURB + Mitomycin C (No BCG)
Urethral stricture, urethroplasty 10/2009
CIS 11/2010 treated with BCG. CIS 5/2012 treated with BCG/interferon
T1G3 1/2013. Radical Cystectomy 3/5/2013, No invasive cancer. CIS in right ureter.
Incontinent. AUS implant 2/2014. AUS explant 5/2014
Pediatrician

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16 years 4 months ago #10331 by justme
Replied by justme on topic Advice for husband
Will he come to this forum and talk and express his feelings, maybe on the mens forum?

How about a private counseler if he won't come here?

How about will he talk to some of the men here on the phone?

My goodness he has to get it out some way.

If my husband can help please send me a pm and I will get them together.

take care
just me pat

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16 years 4 months ago #10329 by mlp51
Replied by mlp51 on topic Advice for husband
Thanks Ginger. He is 56 years old & being treated at Vanderbilt in Nashville. His next peek & poke is Jan 9th. Hopefully he is not going to lose his bladder at this point at least. No family around and of course his friends are all still working. I continue with my full time position which leaves him with a lot of free time. The problem is the lack of support groups or even mental health facilities in rural towns. At present he is having lots of problems with stomach pain, I believe from internalizing. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

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