I was so sorry to read your post. It is impossible to help someone who is in denial or who doesn't want to help themselves. The only thing you can do is to stay strong for your boys and be sure to keep your job since you will be supporting them.
Wish I could suggest a magic potion to solve this problem for you.
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
My long term boyfriend (13 years and 2 little boys) was diagnosed with BC 1 um maybe 2 years ago? It’s been a while. He was peeing blood for about 6 months or so before I heard about it (from our neighbor?!). He doesn’t want me to worry about him. He’s always been kind of secretive about his health. It’s a huge problem because I want to help him but I can’t because I never know what is going on with him! Anyway, he did the scopes and then his Dr. suggested BCG so he did the treatment and after the last treatment my boyfriend never went back. He quit his job and lost his insurance. I know that if you have BC you need to go back regularly and told him as much but he’d say that he couldn’t because he didn’t have insurance. Obviously I would tell him that he needed to get insurance but he’d always say he couldn’t afford it. I even suggested that we get married so he could be covered with my insurance (we never wanted to get married so this was a big thing) but he said no. Now he’s bleeding when he pees again and has no job or insurance!! There is no contingency plan for me and the kids and I don’t want them to have to grow up without a Dad or have to watch their Dad slowly waste away or something and not try to get better. I don’t know what to do or what my options are at this point! If you have any advice for me I would greatly appreciate it!!