Hi Everyone~
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am so glad I found this site.
My father has Stage 4 Bladder Cancer that has spread to his liver, lymph nodes, and bone.
My father and I have had a strained relationship the past few years. It has been difficult because it wasn't like that growing up. He made some choices in his personal life that caused a lot of pain to my mother and my siblings.
Despite that, I know that loving someone and not liking decisions that they have made are two separate issues. My father has always been the one person in my life who taught me the value of hard work, honesty, and giving to others. To this day, no matter how he feels, he still gets up every morning and goes to work. I am humbled by that alone.
My father has a lot of guilt which causes him to pull away and shut his family out. He is not supposed to be working so much because his bones have been breaking. Now, he has an infection in his Indiana Pouch that has to be removed.
He will not slow down and I respect the need for him to feel productive. He is choosing to be wreck less and that breaks my heart.
I love my dad so very much. He has pulled away from talking to any of his children. I respect that he is the one living and dying of cancer. I want him to feel like a human being. I have no idea what it must be like to look in the mirror and see your reflection being so sick. Sometimes, I wonder if he sees himself or the word cancer in the reflection!
I just want to know how to reach out to him without pushing.