BC recurrence in my dad - what questions to ask?

I have not had chemo. Your questions are all good ones. If you don't feel comfortable asking your parents maybe you could ask them if it's ok for you to talk to the doctor.

Maybe something like "Mom, dad, I'm really worried and scared and have a million questions but I don't want to burden you with them all. I'm not trying to find things out to second guess anything. I just want to understand the magnitude of all of this and know more about what is going on and how I can support you. Would it be ok for me to chat with the doctor about things?"

Worth a shot. They may even ask what you want to know and open a dialogue. Could be you have some questions they haven't thought of and it will prompt them to ask.

Tell them they don't need to worry about you....and mean it. Many times we don't share because we don't want to burden the rest of the family. My grown children asked me questions and I opened the door for it because I figured they would freak out without factual information. I was asking the doctor tons of questions, writing down answers and studying everything I could find and sharing whatever they wanted to know whenever they were ready.

I hope all the best for your dad (and the whole family). This is not a solo thing.

Mike

Welcome, and sorry you have to be here.

I am not real good with Chemo. questions, but one of the others should be on soon to help you out.

I commend you for trying to educate your-self on your fathers condition. You will find lots of help on this site, and our members will do their best to help you out as much as possible.

Hang in there, someone will be with you soon.

Mark

My 65 year old father was diagnosed about 4 1/2 years ago with stage 2 bladder cancer. they removed the bladder and put in an Indiana pouch. He did chemo afterwards, although I don't know which protocol - it was 2 drugs. he has had clean scans since finishing chemo 4 years ago, but on his most recent scan it came back in a lymph node on the bladder. I don't know any details about it other than size-wise it was in a gray area that insurance didn't want to cover the PET scan, but thankfully he got one anyway.
He is starting chemo this week, and again, sorry for my ignorance since i don't know the names of teh drugs, but I do know it is a more toxic chemo drug and different than the protocol he did the first time. this time it is 3 drugs.
My parents are dealing with alot so I don't want to burden them with all my questions, so I was hoping you all could help give me some guidance as well as help me narrow down what questions I can ask my parents.
I know that the recurrence rate is high in bladder cancer, but what are the mortality rates once the cancer has returned in a lymph node?
What are the chances that it will return again after chemo?
What are the different characteristics of the recurrence that I should get clarified - i.e. do they give it a stage? are there different types of recurrences? etc
What tips can I relay to him of ways to make the chemo process easier - acupuncture? certain foods to eat?
How fast do these types of recurrences grow and spread?
Is there a "maximum" for how much chemo your body can take over a lifetime. My fear is what if it comes back again, does he have to undergo chemo each time - isn't that too draining for one's body?
As you can see I am very concerned/scared yet don't feel like I can ask my parents all these questions, and in trying to do my own research I feel like I am missing some pieces inthe diagnosis, but not really sure what details I need to get clarity on.
Any insight, input or support you could provide would be most helpful as I try to sort through everything, both information and emotion.
thanks.