To much pressure

Dana,
is he doing his kegals? Here is a paper from the u. o Michigan which explains the procedure done correctly and how many times to do them. You actually can overdo them.
www.med.umich.edu/1libr/urology/postcare/cystectneobladder.htm
It also gives a more realistic time line on recovery so he won't think he's a complete failure at this.

A lot of men cannot find that muscle...we females know it...but the best description i ever heard (and don't let this gross you out) is imagining picking up a pencil with your ass!! I know but its true. Others have gone in for bio-feedback to learn how to use the muscle. I don't know if your hospital has that but its worth looking into.
Pat

Dana
I may have made a bad assumption about WHO is Superman. I must change my position........ Dana, you are Superman! or Superwoman!

You are so right to find a way to meltdown. After the Rush of emotions you have experienced..... cancer announcement, diagnosis, TURB and RC ...... WOW! The emotions and adrenalin was pumping for months! Suddenly, that is all turned around and recovery begins. And all of those emotions come back to reality.

It appears as though you deserve the release of the great weight placed upon you. Let it Go! You have every right to let your emotions run wild for a while.

I sure wish your husband would get on here and talk with us. He needs to realize the physical recovery from surgery is going great. But there are going to be functions that will take time.... Lots of time! The changes his body has been through are enormous! Here he is, doing great in almost every aspect of recovery and he is letting a few niggling things color his world. Are they real? Yes. Will they get better? Yes. Will it take time? Oh Yes!

Your story is filled with strong emotion, and we can certainly relate. We really know how it is. And everything you have related to us is OK! Really OK. But it will get better and better, I promise.

George

Well today was a bad day. My husband is recovering really well from the actual surgery, he has no pain and his stiches are healing, physically he is regaining his strength (he lost 16 pounds in hospital). Unfortunately he is pretty much given up on the matter of incontinence, he doesn't believe he will ever be able to control it, the nights are the worse. I have explained it will take months but I actually believe he was doing better the first days more than he is now.
As for the meltdown, Patricia I totally related to your experience, while I was in hospital, towards the end I had a severe panic attack, I couldn't breathe and I just cried cried and cried. Luckily the nurses were there to help and they were great, told me to just let it all out.

Dana wrote:
Dana, we are all a long way from being superman, some of us just hide it better than others! One good day at a time is all we can really ask for. Just take each day as it comes. Celebrate the good ones and try to weather the tough ones. Hope all goes well for both of you.
Duke

Gee...Guess I was lucky???

My first round of bladder cancer was CIS and I went through a couple rounds of BCG. Had a problem with BCG so then went with mitomycin a couple of times.

Two years later it came back. Given the recurrence rate and fact that I couldn't do BCG, I kind of figured it was going to come back so I had already researched everything on cystectomies and diversions (and the great folks on this site were tremendous).

When mine came back, they couldn't find it at first. Did a TURB and checked kidneys. My uro said it was in both my kidneys. Well, that sucked because I hadn't researched that and kind of figured I was just going to be dead.

Went for 2nd and 3rd opinions, had another TURB and it was found to be in my bladder and my kidneys were "likely" ok. Went in asap for my RC but I was prepared. Wasn't prepared for the 12 days in the hospital due to blockage and intestines not waking up properly. Intestines are the key to happiness or unhappiness (I learned).

Went for follow ups to double/triple check the kidneys and they were clear.

So....while it was a whirlwind once we finally found it (I knew it was back because of blood for no reason in the urine), I still got thrown a curve ball so I was scrambling to figure out what happens if it's in both kidneys. Just goes to show, "It's always something!"



I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and will continue to do so until somebody taps me on the shoulder and let's me know I died.

In the immortal words of Timon and Pumbaa "Hakuna Matata"! (There are no worries).


Mike