Hello emr7888,
My name is Ed and my wife Cynthia has an Indiana pouch which for her was a good choice.
In reading all of the posts, I'm not sure if all of your first set of questions were answered. I'll try to answer the ones that I can.
Q: how long should we expect to stay in the hospital after having the surgery? A: As with most things, it depends upon several factors. Typical hospital stays can be as short as five days to as long as several weeks. There's also some indications that whether the surgery is preformed using the conventional technique or using the robotic technique affect the length of hospital stay. I believe that Cynthia was in the hospital for about 11 days. I don't know how much you know about this operation, but it's major surgery. Not only is the bladder removed, but the procedure also involves removing a portion of intestine to obtain the material for the stoma. So, they won't release him from the hospital until his digestive tract is functioning to some degree.
Q: how much risk for site infection after it heals? A: From what I know about this type of diversion, unless something is wrong with the bag's connection, it only needs to be changed every few days. However, proper hygiene is required when maintaining the connection site. Following surgery, you'll receive care training from a Wound/Ostomy nurse.
Q: can he go swimming and play ball and other things with an Ileal? (big deal for active 13 year old boy) A: Can't offer any advice, but it sounds like there were some good answers in the previous posts. One thought given that he's an active teen, he should probably care a small "kit" of supplies needed to replace the bag in the event of a problem, hand cleaning/sanitizing supplies, spare adhesive wafer(s), and bag(s).
Q: what other advice, information or web links would you give somebody who is considering this surgery? A: Following surgery, make sure that he starts walking as soon as his doctor's allow, exercise is very important to a timely release from the hospital. When he comes home, don't forget that he's also recovering from intestinal surgery, so he won't want to eat too much at one time; several (5-6) small meals each day will work best. Also, meals that are easy to digest will help him recover. I got real good at making Cynthia small amounts of mac & cheese!
Sorry to hear that your son needs this radical surgery, but it sounds like his doctors are working to protect his kidneys from the affects of urine retention and subsequent infections.
Please keep us posted on how he's doing.
Ed K.