Calling on the caregivers

13 years 2 months ago #36176 by Patricia
Replied by Patricia on topic Calling on the caregivers
Rhea..here is a list of groups that can help you..hopefully there is someone near you in New York
www.mayoclinic.org/support-groups/cancer-groups.html
pat

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13 years 2 months ago #36170 by Rhea
Replied by Rhea on topic Calling on the caregivers
Hi everyone, I would like to reintroduce myself. I am Rhea from New York. My husband has had BC for the past 3 years. When we found out it was cancer, it had already spread to his lungs so he went right on to chemotherapy. He had been on about 10 different ones and to no avail, we have been living from scan to scan.

Then one day he had a terrible headache and although the Dr said it was unlikely she sent him for a MRI. Well, low and behold he has over 10 small spots on the brain. He has one more treatment of radiation for a total of 10. Then I am assuming he will be put back on chemo. This has been such a terrible ride as I have to work and we are also raising a 5 year old son.

I am in constant fear that he will have a seizure or the cancer will just take over. I keep looking at him and saying are you ok?
This is a terrible disease and my heart goes out to all of you who have to endure this. I am also feeling down about all of this because I do not feel that I have good family or friends support around us. It feels quite lonely and debilitating. I am trying to keep things going because my son deserves the happy childhood that I had.

Did anyone watch Oprah today? It was about people volunteering or helping, military families. I would have liked to be part of something like this to help families with cancer. I am sure there are, but havent found any locally. For example, my neighbors with snow blowers see that I am out there shoveling the snow and my hubby has not been able to help. Not one has said are you ok, do you need help? They may not fully know my hubby's condition, but they see that he is not out, we are young BTW. I am 38 and hubby is 45.
sorry for the rant, hope everyone else is doing well.
Rhea

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13 years 2 months ago #36165 by LoveMyHusband
Replied by LoveMyHusband on topic Calling on the caregivers
Hi Lee,

I'm so sorry about your wife. I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job taking care of her and yes, it can be a helpless feeling at times.

We want to keep those we love from all harm, particularly our partners. It takes patience and learning how to deal with your emotions as well as your partners.

There is nothing written in stone on exactly how to care for someone who is ill. It is a day to day, sometimes moment to moment experience where you learn the needs of the person and provide them with support on whatever level they need it.

I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job taking care of your wife. Just hang in there and know that neither you or your wife are alone.

Best regards, Rayn

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13 years 2 months ago #36158 by LeeH
Replied by LeeH on topic Calling on the caregivers
Hey Rocky,

My wife just had a bout with NHL indolent Marginal b cell. Fortunately, it just took 4 rounds of Rituxin and it was gone. Since it was my turn to be caregiver, I found I would rather be the one needing care. It is kind of a helpless feeling to be caregiver.

It looks like we are part of an "interesting" subgroup, where both spouses have had to fight cancer.

Lee

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13 years 2 months ago #36098 by Rockyiss
Replied by Rockyiss on topic Calling on the caregivers
Sorry guys, didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings, you are a tough and courages bunch ! lol Rocky

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13 years 2 months ago #36097 by Rockyiss
Replied by Rockyiss on topic Calling on the caregivers
Hi Cynthia , I'm here for anyone that needs to talk about being a caregiver. I hav'nt been on as much lately because my computer has been giving me fits, but now that it has decided to desert me for good (the computer guys say it is fried ) I will be getting a new one and I can get on more.
Rayn , I posted to you on the other page but I am here if you want to vent. My husband had non hodgins large b cell lymphoma so I have been a care giver, and I also have had bc non invasive.
Sometimes when people are telling you to jump off a cliff all you can think of is crashing to the bottom, your husband just needs to relize that for now he has a parachute on his back to try and land safely, but as with any cancer that doesn't stay that way forever. So we will be praying he makes the best decision soon and you can get some piece of mind . Rocky
Ps. guys get embarrassed sooo easy ! I told my hubby go have a kid and watch how embarrassed you get. lol

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