Anybody out there?

14 years 1 month ago #30479 by Stephany
Replied by Stephany on topic Anybody out there?
Rhea, I was just on my Facebook page when I received news of your post. Cynthia suggested I log on and see if I can be of help. The first post you received was a very good one, and one that we caregivers do not hear loudly enough. You must take care of yourself, and your son, and, believe it or not, it will help your husband's state of mind,

Men do tend to go into their "nothing box" when they are hurting or scared or depressed, and the more we try to drag them out, the more they resist. If you can find the strength to show him that you will be OK with whatever happens, it may give him what he is neeeding right now, peace of mind to be able to cope with what is happening to him.

Tell us a little more....how is his doctor treating him, what kind of state is his health now, and how are YOU? Do you have any cancer support? How is your son doing? Is your husband able to interact with him? That meant SO much to our son.

Have you found any resources that will give you more information? Have you looked around this site?

A little about me....my husband died two years ago from metastasized bladder cancer, after fighting for over a year. He went through an RC, blocked ureters, nephrostomies, etc, etc.

Please, keep writing, and we'll do what we can to answer your questions.

Stephany in Iowa

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14 years 1 month ago #30477 by GKLINE
Replied by GKLINE on topic Anybody out there?
Rhea
I thought I might be of help to you. I am looking at this from the patient's viewpoint to the caregiver.
We DO NOT want you to give every waking thought to us. We know you are hurting and, your pain is usually much more painful than ours. I remember wanting soooo badly to get better so I could ease my wife's pain! I wanted her to have a happy life. I spent time planning small excursions for her to go on with her friends.

Even though your husband may not do this.... He doesn't want you to continue to be hurting. Talk to Him. He will tell you that you must find some Joy in your life. Lean on your friends a little more; real friends will quickly come to your side. I am not really a religious person, but I was visited by almost every denomination of minister when I was sick. They did NOT try to convert me. They just talked. They know how to ease your pain. Don't be afraid of them. this is what they do. GO TO THEM. They will welcome you.

I am sorry you had to wait almost a day for a response. But your plea is heartwrenching for almost all of us. We feel so helpless to help you in your time of great need.

May GOD bless

George

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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14 years 1 month ago #30470 by Rhea
Anybody out there? was created by Rhea
My hubby is 45 I am 37 we have a 4 year old son. My hubby has mestastic BC in the lungs and LN. He has been under chemo for the past 2 years and there has been no decrease of tumors. I know I was told there was no cure but I guess I am hoping for a miracle, as I guess all of you are. I dont know what is my question, but I am having such a hard time dealing with all of this. Having to take care of my child, home and my hubby. I have to push him to speak up to the doctors and make sure he is doing all he should. I guess its extra hard bec I am IT, his parents are old and live in another country, he has 2 brothers with kids here but they are busy with their own lives. I am an only child and my mom works full time and lives an hour away. Do most people have more support around them? I guess I try to focus on my son and take him places on the weekends to have fun. sorry so long, thanks for listening, Rhea

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