Rhea, I was just on my Facebook page when I received news of your post. Cynthia suggested I log on and see if I can be of help. The first post you received was a very good one, and one that we caregivers do not hear loudly enough. You must take care of yourself, and your son, and, believe it or not, it will help your husband's state of mind,
Men do tend to go into their "nothing box" when they are hurting or scared or depressed, and the more we try to drag them out, the more they resist. If you can find the strength to show him that you will be OK with whatever happens, it may give him what he is neeeding right now, peace of mind to be able to cope with what is happening to him.
Tell us a little more....how is his doctor treating him, what kind of state is his health now, and how are YOU? Do you have any cancer support? How is your son doing? Is your husband able to interact with him? That meant SO much to our son.
Have you found any resources that will give you more information? Have you looked around this site?
A little about me....my husband died two years ago from metastasized bladder cancer, after fighting for over a year. He went through an RC, blocked ureters, nephrostomies, etc, etc.
Please, keep writing, and we'll do what we can to answer your questions.
Stephany in Iowa