I don't know a lot about the effects of only Gemzar, but I know the Alimta was very hard on my husband. After he had that treatment, he pretty much gave up, and had nothing but low white counts, etc. I still think that the chemo was what did the most damage, instead of the cancer, but that is not all bad, because his last days were fairly peaceful, for him, and for his family.
Have you contacted hospice? You will find that there are a lot of discussions about hospice on this site, and I fought and fought with myself about whether or not to call in hospice, but when I did, I wondered about why I had waited. They were wonderful, and made his time easier. They have a lot of help, both for patients AND families. I still hold dear one of the printed works that they gave me when he entered hospice care.
It is wonderful that your son can participate in his illness and journey. He will remember these days with love. Are you taking lots of pictures for him?
And there is an upside to your having the responsibility for all the family details that you will cherish in your future. I, too, was the caretaker of the family finances, etc., and when I saw the problems that other widows faced during the illness and aftermath, I could at least be happy with my facility in the finances.
Are you able to talk with him about "what to do if...?" And does your doctor speak clearly about prognosis and end of life matters in place?
Forgive me if these questions cause you discomfort. I speak only from my heart after going through this journey with the help of others on this site.
Stephany in Iowa
