What I did for myself today!!!

Ginger,
How soon after you brought your husband home from surgery were you able to do things for yourself? Did you have outside help (family or friends) to call for an hour or two break?

It's funny sometimes that it takes cancer or its recovery to really notice the little things around us. I find it is a new appreciation for life. Have a joyous holiday and enjoy those around you.

Ginger, I bet your grandchildren love you to bits! You sound great fun! Good luck to the upcoming TW golfer. Love your comments about the teenagers.......I can relate to that with my son ......... young love!!
Take care and enjoy your weekend!
Maria xx

Wow, you have a special man there, taking care of you while on bed rest, you best keep him. I have 5 grandchildren, as soon as I figure out how to put a picture on this web I will post Karlie in her tap shoes and tutu...I am going to turn 60 this August but I am a kid at heart. I am taking Kenzie 11 and her friend out shopping this weekend, we have a wonderful outdoor shopping place, fireplaces, big oak furniture, and the decorating is gorgeous, maybe it will snow,,,,so I will be doing the older thing, then I have a 5 year old Ryan, he will be next, his brother Carter is 18 months so he just likes me to run after him in the house. Tyler is 15, he is a golfer, he and Gene do it together all summer, Gene started him with it age 4. now he is 3rd in the county..his initials are TW,,,GET IT!!! Tyler will come over to dinner, he has a girlfriend, they just like to look at each other.So I will do my thing with them, it provides me with what I lost over the summer, JOY!!!!

Ginger

Ginger, Its really great to hear that you are taking time out 'just for you' You really do need to have a break. Sounds to me like you had a fabulous day, I really enjoyed reading your post and could sense your happiness you shared with your little granddaughter, she is a very special little girl.
Can you plan this on a regular basis as it will give you something to look forward to each week?
I am sure that your husband appreciates you very much and is grateful for your physical, emotional and practical support you have given him with his bladder cancer journey, and all it entails. Caring for a sick relative is an enormous responsibility with associated physical and emotional demands. I admire you for your endurance, as do I
Julie and Aimeth.

My husband has to be the best man in the world!!! We have a great relationship!!
He looked after me during my pregnancy as I was on 16 week bed rest and in and out of hospital. He was working full time, visiting me, running back and forward to the hospital with clean laundry etc.
From another perspective, I said then, and I will say now, that I felt very guilty about the additional pressures on his day to day life. I know I will feel and express the same to him when I have surgery, which he will just dismiss. I have tried to prepare him for the extra help I will need for a short time when I come home from the hospital. I will still feel guilty as he has a lot of work already without me to deal with!

Caregivers, never under estimate your self worth, for you to support your loved ones, you need support too!!

Maria xxx

Julie and Aimeth,

I think the 3 of us are all saying the same thing. We love our husbands, we want to be the ones who take care of them, but the stress and anxiety that comes with it is hard to handle. How do we fix ourselves when we need emotional support.
For the husbands they get use to our being there for every little need they have, its important to make them help when they can and if they are up to it. Because it remains the everyday topic it is grueling. Step out of what has become the norm and do what was normal for you before all this. Buy yourself some fresh flowers, it helps me to make the house look colorful and pleasing to the eye. I try to remember there life has been taken from them as well, so I do what I can for myself without it being to obvious. I have done the pedicures, the nail things, massages, but you can't do that constantly it gets expensive. Look around and find something else you like and do it..Ginger

I don't know if it is normal almeth but I feel the same way. Today I announced that i am taking time for myself and I will go to the things I have set up for myself as it is hard to be on call 24/7.

I just hope I can leave him alone for 2 to 3 hours once he gets home from the hospital. I practice dong stuff for him with a smile but sometimes he takes my assistance for granted and seems to wait to request something just after I sit down. I do realize that staying up set is hard on me. I think the stress contributed to my diverticulitis and having to have my sigmoid colon removed this summer because it perforated. I am mortal too.