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How to keep going on this painfull journey?

10 months 3 weeks ago #58106 by sjhatch2024
It is a hard journey...one we didn't pick. I find myself thinking what will I do if it continues to get worse which right now it seems it might. I hope you do well and find the answers you need. My life has changed so much since my initial diagnosis in 2014. People who don't have it do not understand the damage done not only to our bodies but to our minds and the people around us. Sometimes I just want to live in a cave where I don't have to talk to anyone. You are making a step in the right direction for sure by getting your feelings out there. I wish you many more good days in your journey.

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3 years 6 months ago #52519 by Cynthia
I can certainly see that you have been through a lot. It is not uncommon following a cancer diagnosis for someone to go through depression. Most of us do as a matter of fact to some extent. With the added stress you have been through it may have become exacerbated. Some depression is normal but if it becomes well established it needs treatment it is important that you talk to your doctor about medication or seeing a therapist or in a perfect world both. Getting on top of situational depression can be as important as any other treatment we may need as survivors. I know the holidays only make things seems harder but please talk to a doctor soon.

Cynthia Kinsella
T2 g3 CIS 8/04
Clinical Trial
Chemotherapy & Radiation 10/04-12/04
Chemotherapy 3/05-5/05
BCG 9/05-1-06
RC w/umbilical Indiana pouch 5/06
Left Nephrectomy 1/09
President American Bladder Cancer Society

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3 years 6 months ago #52518 by Frances64
Hi Everyone, How do you all keep going with this never ending surgeries ,procedures , Treatments ?
I feel very low after last biopsy and Turbt since November 30 2016 .
Still in pain peeing every 10 minutes. Lack of energy and Christmas in a few days.
Scarred to have any more treatments as the BCG is awful . The first five were fine no side effects.
6th to 9th awful burning pain when urinating. i go through 3 depends each night.
My husband moved into guest room last year because I kept him up and he couldnt sleep with me disturbing him. . We are married five years.
Got bitten by a tick got Lyme as I was planting red flowers in the shapes of hearts all go, got a parasite Babesious that nearly sent me into coma instead of going on our honey moon I ended up in Hospital for a while getting blood transfusions.
I got restless legs from it and the medicine doctor put me on Mira pix ruined m life I got the over active side effects and couldn't stop making things , non stop couldn't sleep had to be making craft stuff ,knitting non stop even in the middle night ,knitting hundreds of stuff .
Then painful urination for which I was put on antibiotics for years when all the time I had bladder cancer.
I finally went to see an Urologist and told I had cancer which shocked me as I only ate raw veggies etc. No chemicals in shampoos soap, etc.
Thought my body was alkaline.
I am in constant pain . Very depressed. I am terrified I may a have to have my bladder out .
how do people survive this . My husband is great but I would be left in my room alone while I recover . I feel useless sometimes I cant go out or cook my husbands dinner feel like a bad wife. His first wife died of cancer and I feel sorry for him he has to go through this a second time.
Thanks for letting me vent .
Frances x

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