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  • Stressed

    Posted by Julie on November 6, 2009 at 6:07 am

    It’s been a long day. My sister-in-law phoned this morning to let me know my Mother had a fall yesterday and broke her hip. She is in the hospital and had surgery this afternoon. I thought the surgeon was going to phone me but I didn’t get a phone call. I heard later from my SIL after she went to see Mom this evening that the nurse said the surgery went well. Mom was sleeping so Sue didn’t wake her. My sister phoned and talked to the nurse and found out we are not on the list of people who can be told how she is doing. She only named my SIL and uncle probably because they are local. This won’t do. First think tomorrow I have to tell Mother to put mine and my sister names on the list.

    I told her I would come up to help when she is transitioning out of rehab and she didn’t want me to come. Mother is 93 and was in good health when this happened. She was oriented times 3 last night even when in pain and on pain meds so she is competent to make decisions but we need to be included.

    I think I had my jaw clenched all day. My Grandmother died of congestive heart failure 3 days after she had her hip surgery after a fall. I sure hope Mom’s recovery goes well. Julie


    Volunteer Coordinator
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    replied 15 years, 3 months ago 7 Members · 14 Replies
  • 14 Replies
  • 's avatar

    Guest
    November 12, 2009 at 11:58 pm

    Bedroom all clean and ready for you Julie
    xxooo Pat

  • sara.anne's avatar

    sara.anne

    Member
    November 12, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Julie, hope you still have my phone number. Give me a call if you need anything or if you need to escape.

    Sara Anne


    Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
    BCG; BCG maintenance
    Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
    Forum Moderator
  • julie's avatar

    julie

    Member
    November 12, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Ann, I love the idea. A vacation and helping a friend what could be better. Yes I’m in Arizona and Tucson is a big tourist city with lots to do and I love showing it off. I have a guest room ready and waiting. I’ve been wanting to see Maine for years. My best friend in college was from Maine and when talked about going home on break and going down to the wharf, buying a lobster and eating it on the spot I wanted to be there too.
    Charlotte, margaritas are my favorite drink. Some day I’ll get there to see you.

    Pat I need to go to Ohio and do genealogy on Dick’s family.

    I have our plane tickets and my sister and I will fly to Portland next Wednesday. We will be able to get the clutter taken care of and if necessary help Mom move to assisted living. She is doing very well with her physical therapy and the Social Worker told me yesterday “There’s nothing wrong with her mind.” She was already at the point of wondering if it was time to move to the assisted living section. I will have a better feel for the situation once I’m there.

    Mom is giving her car to my sister so we will drive back to Arizona.

    More breaks as my granddaughter fractured her foot last night at gymnastics. I hope no one else has any broken bones.

    Julie


    Volunteer Coordinator
    ABLSC
  • webs's avatar

    webs

    Member
    November 12, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Anytime. I serve margaritas, and carne asada.

    Webs :woohoo:

  • 's avatar

    Guest
    November 12, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    I’m on my way Ann…get those lobsters ready!!! :woohoo:
    Then we’ll head out to Julies and declutter…..and then…how about Webs..she’s in sunny California???
    :woohoo: :woohoo:
    Pat

  • pemquid's avatar

    pemquid

    Member
    November 12, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    Julie–
    Re clutter: Maybe we could start something the equivalent of a “chain letter” for clutter. :laugh: I’ll come help you deal with your clutter, someone else will come help me with mine, etc.–a chain of “decluttering” across the country. Of course we’d each pay our own way to fly to different neat destinations around the country to do this, so it would be like a vacation. (Julie, you’re in Arizona, right? I’ve always wanted to see Arizona.) Anyone for a trip to Maine? I’ll treat for lobsters. :laugh:

    Seriously, I’m happy to hear your mom is doing OK.

    Ann


    Small TA Grade 1, May-06; recur (2 tiny), same, June-08; TURBTs both times. BCG begun July-08, dosage to 1/3rd May-10, completed treatment December-11. All clear since 2008.
  • julie's avatar

    julie

    Member
    November 10, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    My Mother did well with the surgery and hospital. For those who are interested the break was the head of the femur which is common with elderly women with osteoporosis. She was transferred to skilled nursing care on Sunday. It is part of her retirement center complex. Yesterday while I was driving back from Disney I got a call from the Social Worker to let me know that someone would have to clear the clutter in Mom’s apartment. In this case I was way ahead of her. I had been talking to Mother about who was going to Portland to help.

    The latest plan is my sister and I will fly from Arizona and get things organized. On Thanksgiving my son and family will drive down for Thanksgiving and take back several storage containers of photos and memorabilia which will create some room to move around. I knew when I visited Mom in early October that I would have to make time to help get things uncluttered. Mom was unrealistic about her ability to do it herself.

    Now if only I had someone to fly in and help me deal with my clutter.
    Julie


    Volunteer Coordinator
    ABLSC
  • julie's avatar

    julie

    Member
    November 7, 2009 at 3:53 am

    Ann, thanks for telling me about your Grandmother that gives me a lot of hope. Today her Doctor told her she would be walking to the table at Thanksgiving. Julie


    Volunteer Coordinator
    ABLSC
  • pemquid's avatar

    pemquid

    Member
    November 7, 2009 at 12:35 am

    Julie–
    Glad to hear your Mom seems to be on the mend. My grandmother had BOTH hips replaced (on two separate occasions)when she was in her 90s (fractures due to osteoporosis), and came out of both just fine and lived to be 102! The surgeon said she had the cardiovascular system of someone at least 20 years younger, so that really helped. Sounds like your mother is similar in her reaction to the surgery and in her recovery. Hope her recovery continues smoothly and that you get to spend some good time together.

    Ann


    Small TA Grade 1, May-06; recur (2 tiny), same, June-08; TURBTs both times. BCG begun July-08, dosage to 1/3rd May-10, completed treatment December-11. All clear since 2008.
  • mmc's avatar

    mmc

    Member
    November 6, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Julie,

    Glad to hear your mom is doing well!
    Enjoy your trip and an early HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!!!!

    Mike


    Age 54
    10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
    9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
    10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
    2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
    9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
    1/2014 ct scan results….distant mets
    2/2014 ct result…spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph system

    My opinions are my own and do not reflect the opinion of ABLCS or anyone else. I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.
  • julie's avatar

    julie

    Member
    November 6, 2009 at 7:11 pm

    I just got off the phone with Mother. She is sounding very good. Her nurse said she is doing better than a lot of 60 year olds. I found out the break was the head of the femur and that they put screws in to hold everything together. They got her up this morning and she took 4 steps and was sitting in a chair when I phoned. The Dr. was by twice this morning plus the PT and OT. She also knows that she has a room in the Rehab facility at her retirement residence. She lives in a retirement center with a continuum of care. She seems sure she will do well enough to return to her apartment. They told her that her platelets were fine but her red blood cell count was down. I expect she lost some blood because of the break.

    I told her I had plenty of time and could fly up there right away if she needed my help.
    My sisters says if you live far away from parents make sure everyone has your correct phone number. My Uncle and Aunt didn’t seem to have my correct phone number or my sisters. Plus her residence should have phoned me and I didn’t hear from them. I know I gave them my phone number so I will have a few words for them.

    So for now I will keep my plans to drive to Anaheim tomorrow so I can go to Disneyland on Sunday. It’s my birthday present to myself.
    Julie


    Volunteer Coordinator
    ABLSC
  • sara.anne's avatar

    sara.anne

    Member
    November 6, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Oh Julie, that is a bummer!! And you guys had such a great visit just a little while ago. Will be keeping lots of good thoughts.

    Sara Anne


    Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
    BCG; BCG maintenance
    Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
    Forum Moderator
  • 's avatar

    Guest
    November 6, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Julie,

    My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. I know the situation is frustrating but your Mum probably thinks she is doing what is best – even though it seems wrong to you.

    Take care,

    Anne
    xxxx

  • flamenco's avatar

    flamenco

    Member
    November 6, 2009 at 8:44 am

    Hi Julie,
    I hope your mother·s recovery goes ok, too. And that you get chance to unclench your jaw and destress a bit!!,
    Diane

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